Judge — December 28, 1895 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Photo. by Morrison. JUDGE'S FAVORITES. THE SOUBRETTE. CARRIE DE MAR, Grim Tragedy once in a while May move us, or Romance beguile ; But spirit we ust have, and always, whatever else we forget. One flirt of your skirt, and away! Disperse the blue devils of day. So here's to you, Comedy’s cocktail! and v/va/ vivacious soubrette. A SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION. Griswold—* That's a queer present your girl made Those are antique slippers. know there were giants in those days.” A USEFUL QUESTION. She—" Those two men alone in the box are father and son? Which is the father?” He. glasses. She—"And now which is the son?” RAILROAD EXPERTS. Fixst THESPIAN—" Yes, Montague ; the prince of Wales has so many ties that his valet can’t count ‘em. SkCOND THESPIAN—"* He ought to hire us OLD SAWS RESET. A COLD wind blows snow good. A rolling-pin gathers no dough. A busted bellows blows no good. A wise cork knoweth its own pop. A wise cow knoweth its own fodder. Flour by any other name would smell as wheat. A boll in the kettle is worth two on the neck. Sauce for the goose is sauce for the Michigander. WILL a, CLESLENS, NEWS TO HIM. Nurse—* Willie, in your prayers you forgot to pray for grandmother's safety.” Willie—* Has she got a 1 Se t i THE EARLY CHRISTMAS BIRD GOT THE LION'S SHARE, Cutsacy —"" Who got de mos’ Chris'mus-presents —you er yer brudder ?” Patsy (dolefully)—"* Me bradder.” Cuimmy—" How kem dat? You're de oldes’.”” You rhe one who is peering over this way with his & > Patsy (more dolefully)—'*1 knows it; but he got up first.” ACCORDING TO RULE, S INCE you're allowed beneath the mistletoe To kiss a maiden fair. When once you meet (the chance is rare, you know), See that you keep her there ! bicycle too?” A PRAIRIE IMPROVEMENT. BIG-1NJUN-APRAID-OF-WORK—"* Ugh ! bicycle heap good thing.” A CHILD'S RIGHTS. [TWAS on the Staten-island ferry-boat, sun shising, air crisp. Every seat was occu- Each occupant felt the influence and prepared for an enjoyable sail, when She appeared, dragging by the hand a screaming child. There She stood, glowering The old bachelor muttered that pied. The mild lady suggested the child might be in pain people who zould have children should keep them at home. Low-voiced but distinct imprecations were now rife. She took not the slightest heed of the muttering or the bawling, which were now at the highest pitch, till ‘the sug- gestion that oil of birch would. do it good was offered. Thenshé” rose, as” it were, and, giving the child! a vig ous shake, said, “Ethel, cry as loud as you'watit to. I've paid your fare.” WOULDN'T ANSWER. Mrs. Wilde Wooley —"What rooms have you for rent?” Landlady —"\ have a magnifi- cently furnished front suite “—— Mrs. Wilde Wooley—" Well, that wouldn't ‘ sweet’ me.” STARS AND STRIPES. comicbooks.com