Judge — December 14, 1895 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

INDISCRETION, Mamir—"* Would yer believe it, Katie? I seed th’ fast thing out in ther woods ches’nuttin’ wid + him, an’ nary a sign of a chaperon,” A CONSIDERATE MAN. +4] ALWAYS like to see a man act as though he tiad some consideration for his wife,” said Mr. Cumso at the dinner-table. Mrs. Cumso smiled. ek I'l admit that I am not always as considerate myself as I ought to be, but "— “Now, Harry,” interposed Mrs. Cumso indulgently, you know that you are a model husband because I have often told you so. There is:only one thing, or perhaps two "— “As I was saying, my dear, when you interrupted me,” Mr. Cumso went on," I always like to see a considerate husband. It does me good. I'saw one to-day down town.” “ What did he do?” $ “ Well, the snow lay pretty deep this morning’ and there was quite a demand for snow- shovels in the stores. I saw one man come in and ask to see some. . He was directed to a pile of them in a corner, and he went to them and examined them critically one by one. They didn't seem to suit him, ‘Isn't there one you would like?’ asked the salesman. ‘ They all seem to me pretty heavy,’ said the customer. ‘They.are the regulation size and weight,” replied the clerk. ‘You can’t get a lighter one anywhere unless-you have it made to order.’ ‘I must look elsewhere, then,’ replied the customer—and here is where his consideration for his wife made itself known—'I must look elsewhere,’ said he, ‘ for'I really shouldn't like my delicate little wife to have to use such a heavy snow-shovel as that.” And the man went out to try to find a snow-shovel that his wife could use.” WOULDN'T RELISH IT. He— It must be exceedingly gratifying to Gladstone to be called the ‘ grand old man.’ She (promirient woman-suffragist)—" Yes; but I'd like to see anybody call me the “grand old woman.'” WILLIAM MUNRY SIVITER, Jack Taxk—"‘Ain’t she? Well, I'll give her a little treat, then. ***11!!———*!(), etc, How's that for a start?” SuowMan—"' I may remark that the young lady is stone deaf.” HOW MR. GROGAN EVADED THE SUNDAY- CLOSING LAW. Antist—" Ze painting of your bar-room is parfaicte.”” SALOON-PROPRIRTOR GROGAN—"' Begobs! it's foine. It wud decaive me own oye, let alone thot near-soighted cop, McManus.” GROCANS three p. m.)—"* Bad luck to Grogan! he musht hove suspicted Oi wuz watchin’ me chance t’ pull his place this day, fer blamed av he ain't closed toighter ‘n a dhrum.” GROGAN (Sunday, three é: m.)—'* Vis, b'ys; it did cosht me a pur-rty penny fer thot wur-rk uv ar-rut, but it's wurth it t' fool thot sassenach, McManus.” OF TWO EVILS. +4] SPEAK plainly, I believe,” said Mrs. Newun decisively, ““ when I say that in riding a wheel I shall wear bloomers or nothing, despite your ob- jection.” “You do speak plainly,” replied Mr. N. in the voice of one who has given up, "and I have nothing more to say. I prefer the bloomers to the alterna- tive.”