Judge, 1895-11-16 · page 4 of 16
Judge — November 16, 1895 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains several satirical pieces targeting immigrant stereotypes and social issues of the era: **"Mr. Burnstein on Fire-Bugs"** is the main feature—a monologue in exaggerated Yiddish-inflected English by a Jewish character complaining about insurance fraud. Burnstein claims fire-flies near his insured barn terrified him, he mistook them for actual fire, and called the fire department. The insurance company and grand jury dismissed his claim, leaving him with nothing. The satire mocks both his paranoia and the insurance industry's dismissal of legitimate concerns. **Other pieces** include light humor about gender roles ("Why Not?" celebrates women cyclists as salespeople), domestic life ("A Little Out of Place" jokes about a teacher obsessed with money), and social commentary on the "New Woman" figure. The **illustration** in the upper right appears to be a decorative figure unrelated to the text below it. The overall tone reflects *Judge*'s typical approach: using ethnic caricature and dialect comedy for entertainment while occasionally critiquing business practices.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Copyright by B. J. Fath. JUDGE'S FAVORITES, ANNA BOYD IN “ALADDIN, JR.” Aladdin had a wondrous glim, Or lamp, that made him a magician ; But you can fairly discount him. Without the aid of such condition. The f00 " magic lamp will do ‘To make your dearest wish come true. A LITTLE OUT OF PLACE, Tommy —* Pa, 1 am going to ask our Sunday-school superintend- ent to put me into another class.” Father— Why, my boy?” Tommy —* Because my new teacher did nothing but talk money all the morning.” Father (puzzled) —* Talked money ?” Tommy—" Yes, pa, He spoke of how the dove brought the green back to Noah.” WHY NOT? ATUL hail the cycle women ! they hould be in trade the boomers, For if they could not boom their wares Why they could wear their bloomers. SDR entitled, "The New Woman in 1991," has been placed on file— Hazet.— “‘T tell you, it’s a great thing to have a quarrel once in a while. Hazet—"* Just think of all the money I've saved !" ‘ LOVE'S LABOR LOST; OR, NOT IN ONE HUNDRED YEARS. ——and will be held —— uae MR. BURNSTEIN ON FIRE -BUGS. MISE frents,.I tole you how id vos; I haf been schfindled by dose fire-insurance gombanies ! How aboud id? Don'd I keep a gloading-shtore on Baxter street, on vich, for some reason or odder, I gan ged me no insurance-bolicy? But don’d I haf a peautiful gountry home by New Chersey? A nice house und a loofly parn—dot vos insured. Und vasn't I alvays afraid dot parn gatch afire ? At nides, ven der shtore glose und I be home by mine family, sidding on der borch of der loofly summer evenings, don’d ve ged scared by dem fire- flies goming oud und in dot parn, und id fulled mit hay und straw? Vedo. Dey fly oud und in, und efery minnid my heart chump oxpecting to see der flames burst oud. Vell, von nighd I vos so sure dose fire-flies, dose lightening-bugs, set dot parn on fire I go down mit der lantern to see aboud id. Sure id vos so! In anudder momind dot parn vos in flames und I, running oud mit der lantern yelling “ Fire!" runs into an Irish loafer who galls oud, “I gaught you dot time, ain’d id!” Und vot vos der gonsequence? Der insurance gombany laugh at me ven I told aboud der fire- flies, und I geds me nodding but a warning from der grand chury! Don'd talk to me aboud dose fire- bugs. It maigs me sick. ROY L. ME CARDLE. “Well, here I is shun ov * good-luck ' horseshoes dat I picked up in de last fourteen-miles’ tramp, an’ to tell de trot’, I bin kicked ‘out er yards five times an’ had four wrassels wid bull-dogs, an’ on me hon- or I hain't had a ting t'eat in t'ree days ‘cept two stale fried.cakes.” AT THE PIANO. SYMPHONY in black and white ‘The keyboard lies before her ; Of symphony nor melody Is she a sweet outpourer. ‘The scriptural injunction she Is earnestly pursuing— She never lets her right hand know What her left hand is doing. HE MEANT WELL. Brownley (earnestly) — "1 so like to see young ladies wear fur boas like yours tucked up under their chins. It doesn’t matter how homely a girl is, she is bound to look pretty fixed up that way.” PUTTING HIM ON HIS FEET, rl and I haven't spoken for three weeks.” * I don’t see why you should feel so good about \ | — pending. for its approval or dis- approval, an examination by the editor —at that date.” of this paper — comicbooks.com