Judge, 1895-10-19 · page 7 of 16
Judge — October 19, 1895 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of late-19th/early-20th century American humor: **"Love Laughs at Locks"**: A poem mocking women's fashion trends, specifically the constant changing of hair colors (from dark to golden to auburn to "Titian red"). The satire suggests women's vanity and fashion-obsession, with the punchline that true love transcends these superficial changes. **"He Had Paid for This"**: A joke about a farmer complaining that eggs cost as much as meat, despite being nutritionally inferior—satirizing either inflated prices or the farmer's poor financial judgment. **"Equal to the Occasion"**: A domestic comedy where a wife attempts to recreate her husband's "bachelor den" but omits the "free lunch"—referencing the 19th-century custom of free food at bars. The joke mocks both her incompleteness and his materialism. **"Cause of His Ignorance"**: Brief satire suggesting a man's political ignorance stems from decades following meaningless political gossip rather than serious engagement. The page also includes seasonal pastoral poetry and various illustrated vignettes typical of Judge's satirical social commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Last winter's style was Titian red “LOVE LAUGHS AT LOCKS.” HEN first | met sweet Mae her curls Were darker than the raven’s wing ; But golden hair came in that, spring And Mae bleached hers like all the girls. And auburn, Mae led fashion’s van. This summer's tint is T ‘That hue, of course, now crowns her head, But though her locks be dark or fair, Dusky as night or red as noon, ‘ilby tan; Her beauty leads me by a hair. * love you, dear.” is still my tune, HELEN TEN BKORCK. HE HAD PAID FOR THIS. HE amateur chicket “For the best steak we p “Thanks. Now.1 understand why they say one egg is equal toa pound of meat.” CHOLLIE IN him !— INDIAN SUMMER. TUKE had begun her year's work early, like a provident housewife up and stir- ring before dawn. The winter-wheut was start- ed in November, and through the long monchs when the world above was sleeping she carried on her processes in her inner chambers, by her own fires. So forehanded was she that when spring came she had but to lay her hand upon the buds to make them rise into visibility, and the meridional sun of mid- summer found her flushed and heated at her work. The harvest was magnifi- cent, With an unfaltering hand she gave her grapes to the press ; her fields were mutely shorn and her boughs were lightened to the wind again, farmer was balancing his accounts for the year and in the midst of his work he said to his wife, “ My dear, how much a pound do you pa eighteen cents. 1. Country Jakes—" My! but I wish we could git — Jerusha! thet’s him sure enough. 2 idiot all over. — EQUAL TO THE OCC. Mx. Vounciusnann (entering his “den” after dinner)—"* What the dickens is this?" . ** John, love, when t married you I was young and inexperienced and failed 10 make you an idcai home Now here are beer. whisky, cigars, cigareties, seltzer, sawdust, cards, dice, spittoons, a copy of the last Police Notes, and an odor of stale tobacco. it i love, and enjoy yourself.” GHUSBAND—" I can't do it, pet. You've left out the free lunch.” Then Nature fell to idling. She became a dreamer in the haze spread by the smoke of her forest fires, and her dreams came and vanished as the haze. She became a poet, and wrote in the slanting sunbeams of October that of which no man hath kept a record. She became an artist, and with finger dipped in sunshine splashed on frost, she painted evanescent things and loosed them to the breeze Do you see that leaf?— A transitory thing, the work of an amateur, in idler, a dreamer, done between two breaths ; a thing of beauty, the joy of an hour, a marvel, a miracle! CAUSE OF HIS IGNORANCE. s+ ]5 DUMLEY a man who knows anything about polities?” 1“ Nota thing. SIGNS.OF RAIN, KATHRINE GROSJEAN, He's been taking political straws for the past twenty-seven years.” WORDS, IDLE WORDS. AT A recent dinner Miss Flowery remarked that “the sweetest memories in life were recollections of things forgotten.” He looks 3. —— Come along nowan’ stop yer guf ‘bout bein’ a swell frum New York.”