Judge — October 19, 1895 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

246 MISS MARY ELLEN EASTSIDE AND LIBBY SWEET. VERY oncet in a while Libby Sweet gits stuck on herself an’ wants to go on to the stage. One day last week she says to me,“ Mary Ellen, there's an ad. in the paper this mornin’ for one hundred young an’ pretty chorus-gir!s, an’ I want you to go up with me to the place at noo! “You haven't got “to call yourself pretty “Well, you know looks is only a matter of taste,” she yway, I can sing in tune, an’ that’s more ‘n you y nerve at all, have you?” I says, ays. “They won't want you to sing. They'll want you to wear tights, an’ you can’t do that, for you're knee-sprung.” 3 Then she fired up. “As for bein’ young an’ pretty, Miss Eastside,” she says, “ they'd only have to look at you oncet to know whether you was pretty or not, but they wouldn't know whether you was young; an’ you couldn't tell ‘em, for you don’t know yourself, as your mother backed down the ages of the whole family when she was wraslin’ round tryin’ to git married ag'in.” “You could tell “em your age all right,” I says, “ever A THRILLING MOMENT. ‘Tuirsty THrock wonton (as the bre: sarsely)—"* Don't move! don't breat’e !" BAUBLING BKOOKS (in an excited whisper) THIRSTY THROCKMORTON — boddies. Heist!" team strikes a stone ® 1 WANT SERVIGE SUN DAY MORNINGS Parson GoopMan (fi thirty, Saturday after- noon)—"" Vhere! 1 think at will fetch them.” fetch ‘em, "posin’ he misses it, w'at’s de watchword ?” Dat dat hevven-sent Christmas gift don’ Mickey DooLan (an hour later) —"* Dat orter THE WHEEL IN AFRICA, Born ToGK1mex — Why in thunder couldn't you ring ?” since your father had to swear to it in court when you was ar- rested for rotten-eggin’ the sal- vation army.” Jest then the forelady come along an’ told us to shut up our clack. The idee of her callin’ her- self pretty! Black as a hat an’ shoulders as square as a box. But ma says her mother uset to be the belle of Jones's wood. Don't look much like it now. Weighs three hundred pounds if she does one, an’ has to shave ! MADRLINE OVIS TWENTY EACH WAY. S, I'll resign the trolley-brake, Y car will be the last. ‘They fined me twenty dollars—see? For running it too fast. And now, to prove they don’t intend To give a man a show, They fine me twenty dollars mere For running it too slow ! CeONGR R, DEVE. WANTED TO BE SURE, LL, sir,” said the phy- sician, after examining his patient, “ ry serious complaint, but I cure it in two cases out of five.” “But, doctor,” replied the sick man, “have you lost the two out of the class I'd go in?” you have a and the full keg unceremoniously tumbles in their midst— .o back inter dat waggin only over our dead WHAT THEY WANTED. Parsox Goonman (cight-thirty, Sunday morn- ing) —"* Goodness me! had no idea the laboring population would respond so quickly to tea and to- bacco.” Patsy.” comicbooks.com