Judge — October 19, 1895 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Suage JUDGMENTS. UR ideals are our guard- ian angels. What passes for a pur- pose is often a succession of impulses. If “realism” were real we should have no time for books and pictures. Duty is the thin disguise which is often assumed to hide native meanness. A truth, posing “in the altogether,” is sometimes mistaken for an epigram. A peculiar person is one whose views on a given sub- ject do not coincide with our own. Death is the advertise- ment at the end of our au- tobiography, wherein people discover its virtues. We frequently spend our time in wondering why we are not loved, instead of try- ing to make ourselves lovable. MYRTLE REED. MAY IRWIN, Such humor to the heart can bring Forgettulness of care — Its laughter has a wholesome ring, And leaves no rankling there Wherefore we say, biithe buxom May, * Yours truly! long as you will stay. THE SERVANT. HE. Fises early in the morning. She builds the fire. While it burns she goes to sleep. Breakfast is late, The man misses his engage- ment. There is sorrow in the home. The menial is offered her wages. She takes all she can get and some- times more, Then another is hired. She is opposed to early rising. The man gets no breakfast at all and then he is sorry that he discharged the other one. This is the way it oes from year’s end to year's end. THE CYCLIST. GE always was a spiteful thing, And quickly as you're turned away She ceases to your praises sing, Ernet—* Pray tell me, Mr. S ball players wear such long hair? CHOLLY SLAMBANG — ‘* To distinguish us from profes- sional pugilists, Miss Ethel." bang, why do you foot REASSURING, + S6T HE clothes don't make the man,” she sighed In language pat ; He saw her bloomers and he cried “I'm glad of that.” COINCIDENCE, THERE isa beach at Windsor park in Chicago which is pat- ronized by some of the windy city's not-too-fair daughters. The ladies recreate in boating and fishing as well as bathing; and all last sum- mer a restaurateur flourished a big sign which read, “ Sand witches for sail.” A ROLAND FOR HER OLIVER. - Minanpy (adruptly)}—"*Joshua, I start fer th’ west ter-morrer.” DEVELOPMENT. D Josnva (courti indy steadily for troenty years—thunderstruck)—" Mi- THE girl to her doting father brings And naught is mean enouzh to say. randy—yew're jokin’! Her lovewithia fond Salute: MIRANDY ( fettishly * Hain't nuther! Mought gi : - And since she's tried to ride a wheel eon fatter 1 Mopent git a:busbaa oat thar JOSHUA (desperately) —" Hang it! I'll marry yer.” put as time goes on there 's a change You'd trust her even less, alack ! MIRANDY (more docile)—"* Why didn’t ye say that years ago?” in things— If you could see her in her zeal Josuva—" Hang it! Why didn’t yer say yer'd go west years ago?” She brings him a lover to boot ! Run down a friend behind her back, THAT IRREPRE! Bonny (surveying his pa's hand) you?" PA (with four queens and a heavy loser—aside)—"' No, Bobby.” (7 players ) “Tl risk a dollar this trip.” ° Bousy (not shaken off —"* 1 thought not—'cos yer don’t need all the old maids to play it with, do yer, paz” (And the boys all dropped out.) IBLE BOY AGAIN, ys Pa, you ain't playin’ old maid, are THE LAST STRAW, Cumaty (admiringh)—" Why did yer biff Doogan—fer dat one-handed ketch he made of yer liner dat put ver out ?” Keity—"* Naw, I didn't mind dat * put-out"; it was de gran’-stan’ bow he made ter me girl w'en he co’t it dat bred de bruise on his nose.” comicbooks.com