Judge — October 12, 1895 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

NRAR-SIGHTED MAN —"'Get on to the walking- Im in luck.” NOT THERE. S THE steamboat was about to leave the dock a messenger-boy rushed on holding aloft in his hand an envelope and calling in stentorian tones, “Miss Fitz! Miss Fitz! Is there a Miss Fitz on board?" No one claim- ing to be a misfit, the captain called out, “ You had better try another boat. My passengers are all pairs,” EQUALITY. sy HAT do you think of this fuss the women are kicking up with their suffrage and anti-suffrage?* “Oh, I don't know—but there's ‘one case where 9 man and woman are equal.” When ‘s that >" They can lick a stamp ‘bout the Sidge THE NEW FORCE. NOW phwat th’ divi 's ati’ ye, ‘An’ phwat wud yez be at? Phwat ninny ‘s bin a-chatin’ ye T lave yer frinds loike that Whan votin’, foightin’, bustin’ ye An’ shtandin’ in wid all, An’ sarvin’, lovin’, trustin’ ye, T’ give us sich a fall? Begob! we crossed th’ saes fer ye An’ lift our native land T’ hould yer offices fer ye An’ all that kim hand, We shtood in wid de madams all, Saloons an’ grane-goods min, An’ niver since ould Adam’s fall Was sich a thrade in sin, Was iver sich ingratitude? So don’t dishplay surproise If Oi ashoom this attitude An’ woipe me wapin’ oyes. Oi sh’pose they'll now recruit th’ force Wid dudes wid fans fer shticks, An‘ not a cint knocked down, av coorse, From all th’ city’s thricks. y KNOWN TO FAME. Acrkess—"* My room has been burglarized during my absencé and twenty thousand dollars’ worth of diamonds stolen.” Horrt-Proprietor—" Ha, ha! that’s good and seasonable, I'll telephone for the reporters at once.” Actxess—"And my husband lost six pairs of new trousers at the same time. Horet-proprietox — ‘Great Jehoshaphat! don’t spring that on ‘em, The boys know him too well.” Imevettsr—"* Watch me knock the socks off of that tramp Weary WILLIE —"* Wrot's dis SATISFIED TO THINK. Ss PJON'T you ever take a nice long walk in the woods?” she asked. * No,” he replied. ~ But just think of the quantities of autumn-leaves that you could bring home with you!” "1 do.” FOR EMERGENCIES. HEN Harvard plays foot-ball again Here's something she should do: Take a good umpire in her train And a good surgeon, too. HER IDEA OF THE PARTY. +s JOHN: wanted to run for office on the populist ticket, but | man- aged to prevent it.” Didn't you want him to hold public office ?” “Te wasn’t that, but John never would look well with long chin-whisk- oA ett oN ag VN ge —Somebody's presented me wid a bike.”