Judge — September 28, 1895 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

DAMAGED STOCK. First SUMMER-OTEL PROPRIETOR—"* Got a watchman at your hotel for the winter 2” SECOND SUMMER-HOTEL PROPRIETOR—"* Not much.” FIRST SUMMEK-HOTEL PROPRIETOR—"* But suppose there should be a fire?” SECOND SUMMER-HOTEL PROPRIETOR—" Yes, s'pose'n there should? The cuss might try an’ save something.” THE OBLIGING WITNESS. sR. JONES, you M are still a wit- ness. I may want to question you farther.” said the attorney-at- law during the trial of a case in court. © Me father’s dead,” replied Witness Jones, “and he can’t be ques- tioned. But to oblige you I'll answer for me father.” CORRECT. sandwich,”*said Mr. Smarty as a color- ed dude strolled down the street with a girl hanging on each arm. J leddy, kin yer give me some clothes ter replace these ‘ere togs?” KIND LabY—"* Here, my good man, is a bun- dle which our last boarder said to give to a worthy person.” Suage ‘TRAMP—* Many thanks, I will jest step roun’ ter th’ barn an’ make a change. — IT WAS A LADY THE LARGER CON- FLAGRATION. A TITTLE boy was one day told He'd raise his mother’s ire If he should overturn the lamp And set the house on fire. One morning, as the sun rose red, His mother heard him ery, “Look, mother! God's upset the lamp ‘And set on fire the sky.” SHY. Lothair —" ow do you manage about your poor rela- tives now you have got rich 2” Staythair—* Oh, 1 sift all my relations, rich and poor, the good from the bad, and keep “em strained.” THE MALL OF STRI going to do yo : THR PACKAG weigh! Vou can't get a string on me.” IN “ SHEKAGGY." Royal. Fitzimmoxs Cnorrerstox—" How did you enjoy your European trip, Miss Porkenham ? Vicrorta Louise Porkenam—" Frightfully delicious, Mr. Chopperblok ; one grand, sweet song. Ma lost twenty pounds at Carlsbad, pa lost a hundred pounds at Monte Carlo, Bob lost his reputation in Paris, | lost my—my heart— in London, also my maid and four trunks, and we a// feel lost back here in old- fogy Chicago.” Ain't 1 a peach 7” BOARDER. : { comicbooks.com