Judge — September 28, 1895 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO S UNITRD STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE, One copy, one year. or s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months, or 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy, for thirteen weeks = 1.25 Incliding the Cwmrsratas Joven, FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS~ To all forcien countries in the postal union, $0.00 a year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (Jupce BuiLviNe), Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. CB THE PUBLISHERS of the New Vork weekly JUDGE notify the public that the wee of JUDGE im local advertising schemes by printing and inserting advertising pases between its leaves it a direct violation of the publish right law, and all copies of JUDGE are sold upon the express condition that they will mot be used for such purpores, No ome is authorized by the publishers to use JUDGE in this manner. and they will take prompt measures to step anybody from so using their paper. Notice is hereby given that the United Si injunction restraining the use of JUDG: JUDGE PUBLISHING C rights under the copy tes circuit court has recently granted "110 Fifth urenue, New £97 NOFICK TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of June are protected by copy: ght in both the United States and Great Hritain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorousiy prosecuted. THE KAISER never tires of fighting his predecessors’ battles. over again. THE PROMOTER of a Bellamy col- ony in Colorado is Anna L. Diggs. and we guess she'll have to. H QUESTION in Kentucky is as to whether Hardin will crush the platform or the platform will crush him. BEICE WILL pay Campbell's elec- tion expenses, but alas! he can- not relieve the perennial of the smallest iota of defeat will not car- ity so far as to go into and shoot the rebels—we are convinced of that. Cuba [F MR. CAMPBELL. of Ohio were a Chinaman the Democratic party, ned to death, could hire him for sarter of a dollar to lose his head. THE BIG BURGLAR who ran ay from little Clarence Lexow made the remark as he disappeared, "| would rather die than be investi cording to one author- p E ity, can put an army of four mill- ion in the field. se ated.” . Adams thar. know nothin’ Ske him tew th’ legislatur’,” But, as they are wont to remark in Germany, the thing is to keep it there. A WOMAN says that to win a man you must get him to talk about him- self, And we suppose that to win a woman you must get her to talk about her neighbors. WE LOOK upon the Wayne-county man who stabbed himself with a fork as far worse than he who eats pie with a knife. persons who can never learn, There are A CAVALRY DIVISION of the salvation army is to be composed of assies. So, then, the adage will be, and she will ride to paradise. THERE WERE four lynchings in California in one day, and only one in Kentucky; but we must remember that the Kentuckians are so ated about politics that they forget some things. Put a woman on horseback THE REMARK of Carmen Sylva, that a woman's virtue ought to be great since it frequently has to suffice for two, has a smart sound ; but, after all, it would be pointless but for the wickedness of woman. A FITTING REPI First skLectMax—" Naow we mout jest ez well settle fust ez last what we're goin’ tew do wi thet lazy, shiftless, Th’ poor-house is crowded, he won't work, an’ he don't ) AND THIRD SELECEMEN (in inspired tones)—" Let's send ETHICS AND CORN. HE QUESTION is asked. “Can a beautiful woman still look beautiful when eating corn from the cob?” During the green-corn season the question is impertinent and cannot be considered. If the lady in question is in her right mind and has the appropriate digestive apparatus her sole reply will be, “It is a grand, sweet song. Give me another ear.” INFLUENCE OF THE WHEEL. RUNKENNESS and bicycling do not go together; and again it is estimated that the wheel has reduced the sale of cigars some seventy million in one year. The temperance and anti-tobacco societies are there- fore in a state of rejoicing: but the railroads are melancholy because the wheel has greatly reduced their income. We know not whether to whoop for reform or weep for the woes of business. JOHN AND THE MISSIONARIES. CLERGYMAN in Pittsburg says he has never known a Chinaman to be thoroughly converted, though he is familiar with the efforts of the Sunday- schools in that direction, We certainly know that the work of the missionaries produces hatred and murder as well as conversion, and it isa fair proposition whether the life of one white woman isn’t bet- ter than the conversion of a hundred remorseless brutes. THE DANGER OF GENEROSITY. LIFE-INSURANCE is responsible for much of our most unnatural murder; but on the other hand the insurance companies are among our best deiectives. There are a dozen cases now before the public which show that the protection provided for relatives is provocative not only of grat- itude, but of avarice and crime. And the worst of it is that there is no rem- edy except in the production of a new article of human nature. A LITTLE ROYAL WISDOM. THE DUKE OF ORLEANS gives up his fight for the lost throne of France. Perhaps the republic has breathed easily notwithstanding the claims of his family for so many years : but it will now be saved the several annoyances and the few spasms of fright. by which it has been afflicted every three months. It is very kind in the duke; but we suppose there is nothing to prevent the foolishness and loyalty of his political nurses. A LONELY PIONEER. LUCY B. GRIFFIN of Albia, Onio, put herself in knickerbockers and rode a horse astride to make calls on her lady friends, Undoubtedly this lady will go into history as the most daring of women pioneers; but the la- dies on whom she called fled in dis- may and went out of their several back doors with more than the speed of a It is painfully evident that most of the women of this period lack the courage of their convictions, if they happen to have some, ENTATIVE, cou-fer-nothin’ Eph walking-match. WANTED—A MIRACLE, HEN THE MAJORITY succeed the minority condemn the majority on the ground that they are not sufficiently honest or intellectual They have quantity without quality. There must be some way to get these things together, though it is a lamentable fact that they have been separated ever since they began. Otherwise we must become a county, a state, or a nation of mugwumps, with nothing settled except the choice of Weapons, man against man. THE BOOTH METHOD. MBS: BALLINGTON BOOTH condemns the gowns of the new wo- man, and wants to cut up the balloon sleeve and give it to the poor. For the books read by the new woman she has only the liveliest contempt and would heap them together and burn them. Then, to complete the reform, she would get the new woman a strong-willed, loving husband and give him full control of her. Really, the good lady begins at the wrong end of the business. Let her give the last lesson first, and the rest will follow of its own volition, comicbooks.com