Judge — September 14, 1895 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

W. J. Anwar. Be TM. Grecony PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK, TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. ONITRD STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE One copy, one year. or s2 numbers - $5.00 One copy, six months. or 26 numbers - 2.50 One copy, for thirteen weeks ~ 135 Inclading the Cwxistas Juoat FOREIGN SUBSCRIPTIONS—To all foreign countries im the postal union, $0.00. year. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY (JupcE BUILDING), Corner Fifth Avenue and Sixteenth Street, New York. (BTHE PUBLISHERS of the New York weekly JUDGE notify the public that the use of JUDGE im local advertising schemes by printing and inserting advertising pages between its leaves is a direct violation of the publishers’ rights under the copy right aw, and all copies of JUDGE ave sold upon the express condition that they will not be used for such purposes. No one is authorized by the publithers to use JUDGE in this manner, and they will take prompt measures to step anybody from s0 using their paper. Notice is hereby given that the Us injunction restraining the use of JU JUDGE PUBLISH lates circuit court has recently granted an E im that w COMPANY 10 Fifth aven (7 NOFICE TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juce are ‘protected by copy- 19 both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be Promptly and vigorously prosecuted. JHE NEW TAMMANY is the same old wolf. [8 PENNSYLVANIA where there's a will there's a Quay. MR. CAMPBELL of Ohio is with- out money, but he isn’t without Brice, EXPRESSIONS OF APPKOVAL. . Rens ime," say! Jinsy ‘CHINA must cometotime,*says Jury" an exchange. More, more; it KeRDELIA ought to come to eternity. my made ‘em out'n pops overalls. Ain't dey stun- ~ nin'?? Jinmy—" Dey is, Kerdelia; dey is jes’ de cheese ” IFE to this administration, in view of foreign complications, is not a grand, sweet song, we think. HE LESS a man knows the more he thinks he knows, and his chief topic is the immortality of the soul. PERHAPS SPAIN has the requisie blood to shed in Cuba, such as it is; but she lacks the necessary money, such as it isn’t. WHEN THE KAISER dedicates a monument he says he does it as an example to future ages; and it's mig y kind in him to do it. HE DEMOCRATS who believe in free silver have been beaten for the most part in the conventions, but they'll get their innings at the bal- lot-box. NATOR BRICE really wants to be president. “If you ask what state he hails from” there will arise the question, which can be had for the least money? FREDERIC KEMINGTON wants his epitaph to read, * He knew the horse. It is intended to create surprise, as if the words were, “ He knew the mastodon.” ET IT TRANSPIRE that young Durant of San Francisco didn’t kill those two girls and the women who send him flowers will turn from him with intense disgust ARE GLAD there were enough listeners to the Harvey-Horr debate to do the umpiring, because otherwise the debaters would have talked themselves all away. ROBERT COLLYER was asked to witness the execution of Leach in ing Sing prison, “No,” said he; “I couldn't bear it.” And we now know that Leach couldn't bear it, either. F IT IS TRUE that Mr. Harrison smokes a cob pipe that settles it. He is in the field as certainly as if he walked in coarse boots, chewed to- bacco, and wore a shirt without a collar.on it. And the hardy yeomanry will immediately pick up his large hat and swing it for him. HE REACHED OUT. THEY TELL of a young man who drowned himself that he might dis- cover what there was in theosophy. He was precisely the man who ought to have lived for the sake of theosophy. His curiosity was large, and his persistency of search for the mysteries which nobody can find out would have given him a reputation for profundity worth several dollars an article in the theoretical ‘magazines. GREAT PROGRESS. THE QUESTION is being seriously agitated in the Evening Worla whether a married woman should be permitted to spank her husband. Things like these count for the physical force and moral authority of the existing female more than the little matters of bloomers and ballots. And certainly if the husband permits it the wife ought to spank him; yea, she ought to substitute the club for the shingle and kill him. GOVERNMENT. THE REMARK of J. K. Jerome that democracy is a failure is an insult to himself. He cannot be a king or a king's flunkey, and he is there- fore one of the millions who are incapable of governing themselves. Our ballot-box system is not perfection, but nobody expects perfection in this world; and the declaration that it is a failure is the confession of a disbe- lief in human nature of which any live man ought to be ashamed. DOLLAR FOR DOLLAR, MARK TWAIN says he is not a business man and therefore he will pay his debts. That is not a joke; it is a declaration of solid, old- fashioned honesty. The debts will be paid in about four years, when Mr. Clemens will be sixty-four, and then he says he will begin life over again. The beginning is at the wrong end of the existence, but that is a freak of fate that will work no ill to the cheerful philoso- phy of a just and therefore a wise man, THE CLEVELAND POETRY. THE VIEWS of Mr. Cleveland on married life and fatherhood are poetic and affectionate, but they are principally significant as. evidence: of the authors with whom he is most fa- miliar, His knowledge of local geog- raphy is, moreover, a profound compli- ment to the local historians Every body has to borrow more or less, and the man who borrows most is the most modest as to his own language and ideas. But Mr. Cleveland mustn't hook any of the songs of the late Mr. Solo- mon. LIBERTY OF THE LIPS. DRGIA COURT decides that two persons may kiss on the street without violating the law. This is liberty indeed; and yet the kissing had better be done with entire legality or the parties may find themselves ina scrape. The court ought to define the method of the kissing and the number of times it may be transacted; the force and warmth of the press- ure, and the amount of squeezing that may legally attend it, The law wants to be generous, but sometimes it doesn’t know how: . A HYPNOTIC ANGEL.” T HAS suddenly occurred to a Mrs. John Angel that she was the first wife of Jay Gould, The lapse of her memory is almost as remarkable as the unexpected revival of it. For years, during which she acted as Mrs Angel, she was unconscious of her first matrimonial experience, though Mr. Gould’s name occasionally appeared in the newspapers as a gentle reminder of the forgotten nuptials. We should think the estate of Mr. Gould would feel inclined to sue Mrs. Angel for damage to that gen- tleman’s honor and affections. A BLOATED MONOPOLIST. T IS URGED that Mr. Whitney wouldn't be a good candidate because he is a Standard-oil monopolist and a millionaire. The Democratic party doesn't stop for a little thing like that, however. In Kentucky it puts up a free-silver man on a sound-money platform; and in fact the matter of Democratic consistency as to the man and the platform has been an angel in heaven these forty years. Mr. Whitney can have it if he wants it, but he probably can’t monopolize the Democratic vote much. That is the main thing that troubles him. comicbooks.com