Judge — August 24, 1895 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A SHORE IDYL. $+ ROLL on. thou deep and dark blue ocean—roll But go a little gently on the beaches, For there our land-niermaidens love to loli— T tell you, Father Neptune, they are peaches. ** Move not man the less, but nature more"— And woman more than all the rest together; $e there is “* rapture by the lonely shore” + Where she disports herself in summer weather. WHNRY TYRRELL. MISS “MCGUINNESS’S DAY AT THE BEACH. T'S th’ foine, illigant toime we hod t' Cooney’s oisland lasht Sunday wor a wake, mesilf an’ Mary Ann Me- Nulty an’ Kate Wathers, thot wud hove bin along ef it hod hove bin her Sun- day afthernoon out. We wor near bein’ smashed be th’ crowd ¢' th’ dock, but foor b'ys from th’ county Tyrone shtood behoind us wid their fate planted under them, an’ th’ divil himsilf cudn’t thrup ‘em up. Faith, yez cud hove danced Garryowen in th’ shpace bechune us. We'd some cooked eggs an’ sang- wiches along wid us, an’ whin we got van atin’ shtand we'd some clam chowther thot wor made av tomatteis an’ droied sage, an’ some beer thot ye cud turn upsoide down an’ the frot’ wud howld it up. Mary Ann wor fer roidin’ in all HER RESENTMENT. Par (after the engagement)— Oi'm shure me darlint wor niver kissed befoor.” Miss O'FLAneRty —"* Yez haythen Choinay! do yez think Oi'm thot hid- cous thot no other mon has iver showed me anny attintion but yez ugly silf? th’ merry-git-roun’s an’ shootin’-jutes, fer which Tayson her head hoven’t come untwishted yit. Whin we come t’ shwim Mary Ann wudn't go along th’ corduroy walk into th’ say; so we wor foorced t' sit in th’ dure ay th’ bat’-house wid our fate in th’ sand, an’ shtick our hids under th' fountain—which, afther all, wor refrish- in’, but not wort’ th’ twinty-foive cints we paid fer our bat'-suits. A reshpictable Oirish family give us a sup av th’ craythur on th’ train com- in’ home, an’ Mary Ann sung“ O'er th’ hills av Oireland till some felly in th’ rayre av th’ car hollered ** Oice!” Mary Ann an’ me hod a shluight unplisintniss about th’ car-fare comin home, but be th’ same tokin Oi'd ge iv'ry Sunday durin’ th’ sayson t' Coo- ney’s oisland ef it wasn’t fer th’ wash- in’ av a Monday. MADELINE onvis THE UP-TO-DATE NOV- ELIST. BE CAREFUL about your heroes If you wish to make money fast ; Select a man with a future, ‘And a woman with a past. A GOOD DEFINITION, PAPA.” said Benny Bioobump- er,“ what does the word soph- istry mean?” “Sophistry, Benny,” replied Mr. © How'd ye pita many Beaten?! Bloobumper, “is the other fellow’s ar- ** Advertised fer a wife.” gument.” This couple is afraid that the people will find out they are bride and groom And these are afraid they won't,