Judge, 1895-08-24 · page 6 of 16
Judge — August 24, 1895 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces: **"Where Ignorance Is Bliss"** mocks a temperance advocate (Deacon Temperance) obliviously praising a "delightful breeze" while apparently inebriated or naive. **"Every Dog Must Have His Day"** is a humorous poem criticizing a woman named Jeanne for lavishing affection on her pug while ignoring human suitors. The speaker compares the dog's pedigree favorably to its appearance, then ironically claims to be an unloved "dog" deserving her attention. The satire targets both female pet-obsession and rejected male romantic pursuit. **"Judgments"** offers brief witticisms on social behavior—affectation, class mobility (beggars on horseback), changing technology (bicycles), aging, and childhood stubbornness. **"What's in a Name?"** presents an Irish immigrant mother comically naming her child with an absurdly long string of ethnic names (Jewish, Irish, Christian), betting the name itself will ensure wealth. The right column illustrates "The Bogus Snake" story in sequential panels, apparently depicting childhood mischief or deception.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
WHERE IGNORANCE Is BLISS. Dracon TemPERANCR—"* Isn't this a delightful breeze ?* EVERY DOG MUST HAVE HIS DAY. Am expottulation addressed to Mistriss Jeanne om her excessive fondness for her pet pue. COME tell me, Mistress Jeanne, I pray. Why to your dog sweet things you say, As though the little beast were human And could appreciate a woman, While all the lovers who adore you Unnoticed come and go before you. I know the dog from foot to head ears markings of a thoroughbred. His nozzle ’s square and black as night, His tawny coat unflecked with white His tail curls properly, and he 1s all a well-bred pug should be. And yet how can you, Mistress Jeanne, Prefer him to a well-bred man? When handsome lovers vainly sigh To kiss your lips and then to die, How can you rather kiss and hug That diabolically ugly pug? Ah, yes! ah, yes! T know they say ‘That every dog must have his day. But yours, methinks, has had too many, While some poor dogs have not had any. Behold here at your feet, I pray, A dog that has not had his day. at's the charge, officer?" itimpted suicide, sor.” tate the particulars.” JUDGMENTS. AN. affectation is a blemish. “Set a beggar on horseback.” for a rich man can afford a bi- cycle. “Whistle and I'll come to you, my lad,” but in these days I must fetch my chap- cron. One of the surest signs of advancing years is the magnify ing of the importance of little things. “A boy's will is * but a boy's “won't” is for just as long as he can hold out against the powers. WHAT'S IN A NAME? hwat are yez goin’ t* name th’ darlint 7” Ks. O'} Solomon Isaacstein Jacob Cohen Aaron O'Brien ; an’ if he don’t git rich wid thot name he kin shtarve t dith, begorra !" THE BOGUS SNAKE, THE SECRETED BLACK BOTTLE AND THE USUAL FIENDISH BOY. A TALE OF SIX MOVEMENTS, comicbooks.com