Judge, 1895-08-03 · page 7 of 16
Judge — August 3, 1895 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several unrelated humorous sketches typical of Judge's format: **"She Was Particular"** mocks fastidious women, with Mrs. Taddells refusing beach bathing under current conditions, sarcastically suggesting she'd only swim if given individual private oceans. **"A Practical Worker"** jokes that a geologist is merely painting advertisements on stones for a patent-medicine company—satirizing both commercial exploitation and pseudo-scientific hucksterism. **"Gottfried Weichselbaum's Philosophy"** presents a German-accented character philosophizing that fishermen, like all humans, always blame "the one that got away," using dialect humor common to period comedy. **"That Would Be Odd"** is a pun: electing unmarried women to legislatures would be odd because calling the lower legislative chamber a "house of miss representatives" sounds peculiar. **"As He Saw It"** presents marital humor about a wife being difficult to silence, compared to a folding bed. The page also includes racist dialect humor typical of the era, which modern readers should understand as reflective of period attitudes, not editorial endorsement.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
uae A TALE OF THE BEACH SHE WAS PARTICULAR. ++ [ET us go to the beach and bathe,” said Mrs, Wiflells to Mrs. Taddells. “Thank you, but I prefer not. present conditions. 1 will go in.” I think it is unsanitary under When individual oceans are provided for bathers A PRACTICAL WORKER. Cora (on the hotel veranda)—" You say that man is a geologist?” Merritt— Yes. He is picking out stones for a patent-medicine firm to paint advertisements on.” “Who's a niggah 2" Mosk —** Me?” Jere—" Vais, yo"! Yo" a nigyah yo'se'f !” : Mose —"* Yais, yo'!" GOTTFRIED WEICHSELBAUM’S PHILOSOPHY. \JHEN dem fishermans coom in to tell Apoud dheir luck undt show dheir shtring Der pest obf dem ain'd done so vell Bud dot dem tell der same oldt ding— * Der piggest trout,” dem alvays say, “Vas preak der line undt got avay.” Dot's nature. Likevise all mankindt, Uf dhem shouldt liff fife hoondert years Undt alvays schooped undt left pehindt, Dot shtatement all dheir failure cheers, Dot's consolations yoost to say * My piggest shances got avay.” ALT, WORDRR. THAT WOULD BE ODD. Hojack—" 1 foresee a great difficulty in the way of electing unmarried women as members of state legislatures.” Tomdik— Name it.” Hojack—" Well, it would sound odd to speak of the lower branch as a house of miss representatives.” AS HE SAW IT. Dorcas—* My dear, you remind me of the new patent folding-bed you bought.” Mrs Dorcas— How so, love? Dorcas— Because you are so hard to shut up.” Hy, mefers A WONDERFUL MIND. 1 w—speaking of Twilby, aw—I have taken a chicken, looked it stwaight in the eye, aw—and | actually hypnotized it—aw. SHk—" Well, that shows that your mind is stronger than the chicken’s.” ‘Am Ta niggah?” JerP—** Who—yo'?" Yais, me !" Jur no-0; yo’ ain’ no niggah.” lerr—* Who—me ?” Jur Vmaniggah all right.” “All right den, niggah; an’ doan’ yo’ maik no mo’ sech