Judge, 1895-08-03 · page 5 of 16
Judge — August 3, 1895 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical sketches about domestic life and gender roles, typical of Judge magazine's social commentary. **"At the Seaside"** mocks the casual sexism of the era—the caption jokes that a baby boy is inherently more valuable than a baby girl. The accompanying story depicts Irish immigrant domestic servants (Bridget and Marjorie), using exaggerated dialect to show their working-class status. The humor derives from their supposedly ingenious (actually dangerous) solution of using a clothes wringer to restrain a baby—presenting domestic caregiving as chaotic and incompetent. **"Patent Applied For"** sarcastically suggests boys' destructive behavior is innate and worthy of patent protection, critiquing how society excuses boys' misbehavior as natural rather than requiring discipline. The bottom section includes unrelated items: a humorous insect illustration, a cable-company joke, and philosophical "sentences" attributed to "the Judge"—moral aphorisms that were common filler content. The overall tone reflects early 20th-century attitudes toward class, gender, and child-rearing through gentle ridicule rather than sharp political critique.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AT THE SEASIDE. It is only a baby, it is true, but then it is a boy-baby. PATENT APPLIED FOR. ‘© BRIDGET, 1 have to mind Gladys for half an hour,” said Marjorie last wash-day, “and what will you do without me and Bounce to hold the pin-basket and hand you the clothes-pins ?” “ Shure, an’ I'll be afther miss- in’ yez jist awful,” replied Bridget, setting her tub of bluing-water and the wringer on the floor; “but yez must do as mamma tould yez, else the blessed babby ‘ud be afther crapin’ inter mischief.” Picking up her basket of clothes, Bridget marched out to the yard. Five minutes later Marjorie, Bounce by his collar, marched out too. “ Where's the baby ?” inquired Bridget. “Oh, she’s alll right," answered Marjorie unconcernedly as she adjust- ed the clothes-pin basket to Bounce’s jaws. “1 gave her the bluing-bottle to play with, and she can’t creep into mischis, ‘cause I've run the back of her dress through the wringer—same as you do towels and things.” 3 OPPORTUNITY TO (w)Hoor "gmt UP. THE reason a boy cuts the fringe off the window-curtains and picks the paper off the walls and whittles the mantel-piece is that he is a boy. TERRIBLE PREHISTORIC COMBAT IN NEW JERSEY. ‘There are said to be several specimens of the horrible insect at the left still in xistence. CSE LE ce MORE TROUBLE WITH THE CABLE. Jost Hestock—"" * Open yer grip," eh? Not on yer haystack. No bunco in mine, thanks.” SENTENCES PASSED BY THE JUDGE. [* IS well for a hook to have more than one fastening. The thirst for justice is apt to end with the righting of one’s own wrongs. A woman wiil battle equally for her children, her principles and her ideas. It is better to rise early and work for one’s breakfast than to lie in bed and create no need for it. When a woman raises a temple to her deity she will strip the jewels from her own breast to adorn it. Nature abhors a vacuum in the heart of a woman; so much so that she is sometimes not over particular in her manner of filling it * Get thee behind me, Satan,” says the tempted one; and then he reaches his hand behind him to see whether Satan be there or not. The mark of an erasure is’ sometimes more flagrant than the mark erased, and one should not try too hard to forget when he wishes to disremember. MATHKINE GROSIEAX, "Comicbooks.com