Judge, 1895-08-03 · page 3 of 16
Judge — August 3, 1895 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Page 67 Analysis This Judge magazine page contains three separate satirical pieces: **"An Important Question"** mocks a hotel clerk's pretentious explanation for why his wife ran away with another guest—claiming she merely wanted to see "a tall, stylish gentleman" in fashionable clothing. The satire targets affected social posturing and absurd excuses for infidelity. **"Not in Burke's Peerage"** appears to reference Burke's Peerage (a British aristocratic registry), satirizing claims about ancestry. Strangers dispute the origins of someone's family, with references to Chicago's reputation and horse racing scandals. **"The Fake Cop and the Quiet Book-Maker"** (bottom) depicts characters named Jackson and Johnson in what appears to be a police corruption scenario involving illegal gambling operations—a common Judge subject reflecting early 20th-century urban vice concerns. All pieces use caricature and dialogue-based humor typical of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AN IMPORTANT QUESTION. THE clerk of the hotel at Massena Springs was one of those jokers with an impassive look when talking that would tassel out corn in a backward summer. To him rushed in one day an excited darkey, dressed in the ex- treme of fashion, and as he rushed up to the desk he said, “Mah wife runned away wid anodder gemman, an’ I didn’ know but dey was in dis yer hotel. Is yo’ seed a tall, stylish gemman wid light pants an’ a plug hat come wid a woman? Dey was people ob color.” Slowly F drew a note- book and pencil from his pocket, as if about to write down an important item, and drawled inquiringly, “A-b-e-m,. What color ?” ‘The appalling absurdity of the question killed the darkey, it is supposed, as he was led away fainting into the barber-shop and was never seen again in the hotel. COULDN’T STAND THAT. Boarder (at summer hotel) — How is it you don’t supply soap ?” Proprietor —"\ found the guests were using it to make the win- dows slide up and down.” And now, since the law of bicycles and carriages being provided with lanterns is so strictly enforced, we think it right and proper for canines, pedestrians and equestrians to appear the Same way. NOT IN BURKE'S PEERAGE. SSYVHAT were their antecedents 2” “I don't exactly know, but I think they came from the Chicago fire.” atts ERS s STRANGER —""'Scuse me, gents. I'm makin’ a quiet book on de races. Of course it's against de = law ; so don’t let dat cop git on to us.” 3 6 ES oe R. JACKSON — ‘* Man, yo've saved our lives ! £ . 2 e nny on Bena aes Rltses Leas eee TAKEN IN THE COUNTRY. “less yo’ kin bait. Instantaneous photograph of the author of ** Dick, the Dare-devil,” ‘‘ Red Mike, the Fearless Scout,” etc. MR. Jackson (nervously, after the fifth race) MR. Jackson —** Dar's dat fool book-maker —"Whad time yo ‘spec’ dat cop back, sah? Yo! Loci wheel ‘ ‘ walkin’ right off wid dat cop ; he orter know better.” doan' seem t' hab no pleece pertection yarat all, sah.” Punkinhead wins! Ponkinbead wins tt Mx. Jounson — ** Dat’s all right; he's jes’ Manacen (of track) —"" Cop? Cop? Whad gwine ter blow him off. He knows his business,” cop? We didn’ hire no cop. He paid fo" his ticket same as ordinary folks.” THE FAKE COP AND THE QUIET BUOK-MAKER; OR, HOW THE BLACKVILLE BETTORS CAME TO GRIEF.