Judge — July 27, 1895 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Side REVEREND MOAKLEY MCKOON ON TROUBLE. SsBREDREN, dey's a good menny folks dat takes deir trubble laik dey wud a pill. Ef yo" goes toe chewin’ it yo" gits all de bad taste wid- out enny improvement toe yorr liber. Ob co’se dese am hahd times, an’ we has toe mix ouah whitewash mighty thin toe maik er libin’; but whad’s de use ob chewin’ on dat pill till yo'r mouf tastes laik a glue-factory was busted sum’ers. Shut yo" eyes an’ taik her down. Den dey's folks dat tries toe con- ceal dat pill wid applesass er cod-liber ile, an’ w'en yo’ swallers de lubricant yo’ fin’ dat pill still a-loafin’ roun’ in de norfeast co'ner ob yo’ mouf. Den dey’s folks try toe wash dat pill down wid a' flood of wa- tah, an‘ de pill is right dar all de time. De way toe do is toe fling dat pill away ober behin’ de sarcophagus an’ den fo'git it an’ go out an’ look fo" a job an’ free cents worf ob liber, an’ den dis will look laik er pooty good worl’ yit. I will now taik a tex’ an’ gib yo’ de texture ob it. ‘Sufficient untoe de day am de ebil darof.’” THE PROPRIETIES MUST BE OBSERVED. Mrs. MINERVA Mins (17 the front rank of the advanced)—" James, T-have observed that you are diminishing the ruffle at your knee ; in fact, shortening. your —er—lower garment, This is not delicate, and must go no further.” 5. O'FLANNIG HOME AGAIN. Mxs. Farmer Gxrent—" Land sakes, Hiram! whatever happened ter yer in N* York?” Faken GRreNg—" Bunco man. Fust I hit him with my umberel an’ broke thet; then I swatted him with my grip an’ smashed thet; then I took 2 fall outen hima an’ ripped my coat an’ tored my pants; then I'hit him with my fist on ther jaw an’ broke my wrist; then I fastened my false teeth in his neck an’ spoilt them ; then | kicked him jes’ ez hard ez I could, an’ he hed a gold brick in his coat-tail pocket, an’ | broke four toes—thet's all.” Mrs. Fanser Greenk— ‘An’ wuz th’ bunco man kilt dead ?” FauMen Gre * He wuzn't even hurted ; an’ nex’ time he kin take me jes’ ez I am, without one plea.” DECIDEDLY. MBS. TOWNSEND, on opening the nursery-door unexpectedly, found her youngest hopeful strutting proudly before the mirror. arrayed in his father’s silk hat and new coat. “ Robert!” she exclaimed severely, “ what are you up to?” “Why, I's up to date,” was the roguish reply. , THE GREEN FIREMAN, SHOWS THE FIRE-BOYS HOW TO RUN A HOSE SINGLE- HANDED,