Judge — July 27, 1895 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BAUMGARTNER'S .DOG. +*P)OT Baumgartner vas der pig- gest foolishness dot I efer vas,” said Blenker of Canajoharie as he came down street laughing. “Why so?” I asked. GZ “Baumgartner keeps a liffery- Z stable undt a pull-dog to take care fon dose horses undt carritches in der A nighd; so he cuts a hole der parn in, so dot dog can go in undt owet all der vhile. ‘Vell, der negst day vhen der parn-door vas oben he seen dot it cof- ers dot dog-hole, ain'd it? Oxectly. So he goes undt gits dot carpenter undt cuts anudder hole pesides. See? Vell, his soha Shake comes aroundt undt ask apoud dot extra hole vhat he make, undt de oldt man shows Shake how vhen der door is oben it cofers up dot hole. Py cracious! den Shake he get madt undt shwear undt say, ‘Couldn't dot plame dog go in undt owet der door vhen it vas oben alreaty?" Py chiminetty! old Baumgart- ner feel so sheap dot he could go in undt owet dot dog-hole himselluf.” TO DECIDE THE BET. AT, FAuMER HayRick —"’Scuse me, mister, but ther boys er bettin’ thet yew be one o” them idiots they call dudes, "Be ye?” A GAY DECEIVER. THEY were dancing to one of de Koven's melo- dies. “ How divine !" he said, bending tenderly above “T would not miss a single measure of this o Why?” she coyly asked Because,” he replied, “ I've a beastly cold and want to dance it off.” A HARDY PERENNIAL, AS IN a well-kept garden where are shown Hosts of fresh beauties each succeeding year, So where the ball-room’s garish light is thrown Each season new and lovelier buds appear— Buds of sweet girlhood that too soon are blown To the full blossom of a matron’s sphere ; The sad, neglected wall-flow'r—it alone Knows naught of change or cheer. ROWARD W. BARNARD, “MAMMA, mamma, come quick!” called Hec- tor from the bed where he was confined by Broke down completely in her trial-mile yes- Stomach trouble. “I think I'm goin’ to swallow up -d a tendon in her fore-leg. I've just given my trainer a week's notice, and “—— somethin’,” ‘K PLuNGeR—** Much obliged, old man. Do as much for you some time.” (Aushes into the ring and backs Lazibones for all he's worth.) Hil mM gs oA. A NAPOLEON OF ECONOMISTS. 4 . Parson Vouncman —"* Cud yo’ info'm me whad am de cheapes' legitimate A BASE-BALL VICTIM. way fo’ me toe raise young chicks, Mistah Sage?" Fixst yourn—"* Say, fellers, I’m ashamed ter go home.” Deacon Sacer —"* Sartin, sartin, pahson. Fust yo" borrers a settin’ hen; Srconp youtH—" Why?” den yo" borrers a settin’ ob aigs. Set de hen until she dun hatches yo’ chicks. Fixst_youti—" Me cousin Sarah frum Boston is visitin’ us, an’ every Keep her till she lays anudder settin’; den return de hen an’ de settin’ ob aigs, game de New York club loses she t'rows it inter me face.” an’ dere yo’ am—nobody out an’ eberybody sartisfied.””