Judge, 1895-07-27 · page 3 of 16
Judge — July 27, 1895 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains several humorous short pieces and illustrations rather than political cartoons: **"A Photograph"** is a romantic poem about an unrequited love for a Baltimore beauty—likely a society figure from the period. **"Judges' Favorites"** and **"Judgments"** are brief witty observations on human nature and parenting. The remaining items are illustrated comic scenarios: "Acrobatically Turning the Tables" (children playing), "A Bird in the Bush" (a folk saying illustration), "A Watch-Dog" (a child's misunderstanding), "Ticklers" (a bedtime anecdote), "An Accommodating Candidate" (men fishing), "No Sport Like Fishing" (a joke), and "Neighborly Feeling" (a domestic dispute about music). These are general humor pieces reflecting late 19th/early 20th-century domestic and social situations, not partisan satire.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Photo. by Falk. Sage 51 A PHOTOGRAPH. ACROBATICALLY TURNING THE TABLES. LL day on my table lying, \ She has numbed my will like a potion, And exertion dies before those eyes That are deep as the depthless ocean ; And{f at the shrine of their light divine For my love plead absolution, For an editorial chair is mine, ‘And she is a contribution ! My name she has never heard of, This famous Baltimore beauty ; She never will guess the bitterness OF thls ght betmecis lave aod duty + Orricer Doosan (going at full speed)—"* Shwim on my Shall I keep her nigh, on my desk to lie, hate, will yez, ye wather-rat? It's tears ye'll be shwimmin’ in And from desecration save her? whin Oi yer i Or give her up to the envious eye Of a critical steel engraver? Oh, marvelous, fearful beauty, What homage my heart could show you! But, my love, alas, this dream must pass, For I do not even know you. ‘There's nevera chance of the least romance, So I summon my resolution ; For the heart of an editor may not dance For love of a contribution ! JUDGE'S FAVORITES. GUY WETMORE CARRYL. BLSA KUTSCHERRA. ‘Thou fittest away for the summer When May-time the robin is bringing Sweet song-bird, that winter set singing, A BIRD in the bush is worth two —drepping suddent) in’ you in?" (Splash—! — 1!) that tells tales, ping Eeuiden y) cans’ pens Wn" (Sela D ‘And the wood-thrush is welcome new-comer. But their songs, in absence of thee, Shall but wistful remembrances be. JUDGMENTS, IRTH is a great sweet- ener. ‘There is only one of each of us. It is better to be born lucky than tired. A child’s “why?” is a parent's bugaboo. Turn “the tragic” hun- gry from your gate. Don't give to man, wo- man, or child who whines. It is a very mean nature that won't borrow once in a while, “An ounce of preven- tion” and a pound of antici- patory anxiety. In the home the power behind the throne is the eldest daughter. tavern onvis, ‘KEES 0 beer, an’ dey're lookin’ fer an umpire.” A WATCH- DOG, Bobby (observing his first pug dog)—"* Mamma, see that Intle dog's tail! He's some little watch-dog that somebody has just wound up.” TICKLERS. [8 BESTOWING the usual good-night caress and kiss Lucy’s mamma had chanced to tickle the little girl's face with her eyelashes, which had caused the little girl to laugh. Later that night, when every one in the house was in bed, mamma was awakened by hearing Lucy call. Hastening to the bedside she inquired what she wanted. “Oh, mamm said the little one, lonesome! I want you to mate me laugh adain wiz your cye-bangs.” AN ACCOMMODATING CANDIDATE, Yourit—"'Say, mister, dem fellers over dere are playin’ a match game er ball fer two NO SPORT L' IKE FISHING. NEIGHBORLY FEELING. I tell you, Brown, there's no sport like fishing.” Fon PareNt—"* She's got a lot of music in her.” Brown —"* You bet, I'll just raise you five. SARCASTIC NEIGHBOR—"* Yes. What a pity it's allowed to escape.”