Judge — June 29, 1895 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WE ALL KEEP A DOG. UR pet which we caress and feed, The proverb,"* Love me love my dog,” Our dog for show, our horse for speed, Involves me in a social fog. Makes some one scowl when we salute, My friend admires a spaniel’s tricks And say, "How can he love that brute?" And bores me with his politics. [Alas ! our pets are not confined My neighbor's mastiff is reform, To fur or feathers, speed or wind, Ile lets him through my garden storm; But oft a theory or fad Or unawares he on me steals, Will paw and growl and act like mad. And sniffs and growls about my heels. Italian greyhound, beauteous art, The setter so au fait on books, And so, grown wise,when asked to dine Alas, so spare, oh spare my heart! The pointer makes a point on looks, I'd like to send each guest a line— T can't enthuse please turn him out, The terrier nosing secrets out, ** Dear Spilkins, now be sure and come, ‘There's room outside to frisk about, The bull-dog choking dead a doubt. But kindly leave your dog at home.” IT WORKED. H [1S the custom in Germany for the male guests at a social gathering to introduce themselves to masculine strangers present, giving at the same time their own antecedents and:full titles, which in German are usually very full indeed. A young American once found himself in the position of stranger, knowing no German, and, embarrassed by the long line of men who filed past him shouting out their many-syllabled names and ranks, he appealed to an American irl present. “ What shall I say?” he ex- claimed, “I can’t just call back my own name, Hoyt, in response to all that string they are pouring out to me.” Say ‘Hoyt, General Sherman's nephew," she replied. He was Gen- eral Sherman's nephew. A. CORN-KEMOVER— WARRANTED, A GRAVE CONTINGENCY. Accordingly, the young fellow kept up a sharp contest with the bows and calls of “Lieutenant so-and-so, suc and-such a regiment, situated at suc and such a spot" To all these he je untiring answer, with respond- ¢ deep genuflexion. * Hoyt, General nephew! Hoyt, General nephew!" he cried, and it did admirably. NOW the coming woman fills the public mind to such extent ‘That upon her all its force of scorn and ridicule is spent. So the persecuted dude, who suffered from its lash of yore, Now gains a needed respite while the fair sex has the floor. But we shudder when we think of what his awful fate may be If he yields without a struggle all his old supremacy ; HER PREDICTION. For we fear that in the future, if the stave of life we scan, Old Mr. Bently—"\ see that they re ae As the coming woman enters she will are going to have a Carlyle museum in ; pass the going man. London.” PRACTICAL. {Da GounsMrrN sto Old Mrs Bently— ub! Didn't T tell you that them foreigners would do something for him on account of that last bond issue ? * F * What hev yer larned at yer college, son?” Son —" Why, dad! | can throw the hammer further than any one there.” Farmer Jones —" Thet’s good, I guess yer'll hev no trouble in gittin’ er job in er blacksmith’s shop then.” ROM: personal experience, we feel that the best thing to take for sea- sickness is an ocean trip. OUT OF SIGHT. ywep—" Have you been quite comfortable, Uncle Tom, since jal: Never santana Uxcie Tom (rising)\—"* Why, now that is strange. I haven't seen hide comfortable chair in nor hair of her.” Mus. Newtyweo—" [hope pussy didn’t bother you any ?* comicbooks.com