Judge — June 22, 1895 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE FIRST ‘ MANHATTAN COCKTAIL.” THE JUDGE. JUDGE not the Juvce with feeble sense ; Few jokes are out of place. Behind the bells and mask awaits A bold, progressive face. sp. x. SCANDALOUS. Hojack—" Did you hear how Skidmore disgraced his family at church last Sunday ?” Tomdik —" No; how was it?” Hojack —* The minister read two chapters from the Acts, and he insisted on going ‘out between them.” AN INSTANCE CITED. Tilling hast—*"* Can love come after marriage?’ is a much- dis- cussed question now.” Gilder sleeve —* \ know it can, A man of my acquaintance got married, and two months later he fell in love with another woman and eloped with her.” Suage HER ANSWER. WEHAT is my answer? Really—oh, I think you might try to guess; It is awfully hard to tell you no, But I simply can’t say yes. I'm fond of you— that I will confess, And I've let my feelings show Until you fancy it must be yes, ‘And you won't conceive of no. Oh, don't be angry, sweetheart ! Don't go— If L haven't quite said yes T haven't—now have 1 ?—quite said no. Oh—I think you might try to guess. Bronco Bitt—‘" Who won de ball game?” EARLess * Deadgulch,” BRONCO BILL—"* What score 7" EaRLess Eppte— ‘Eight to four, Bloody Canyons on'y had deir pitcher left ; Deadgulch on’y lost four killed an” one wounded.” REAL REALISTIC. Wire (in indignant surprise\— “Are you drunk, Joseph ?" Joserit — “(Hic) If 1 ain't (hie) it’s the best imitation of one I ever experienced.” HOW HE GOT AHEAD. *¢(7OME on, uncle, if you want to catch this train.” “ How long do it take dis train to go, sah?” This is the express train. One hour.” “ How long do it take de nex’ train to go, sah?” “Accommodation, Two hours.” “ Den I take de nex’ train, sah.” And he turned away to re- mark to those standing by, " Dese big corp'rations ain't gwine to git ahead of me; ‘deed dey ain't. I'se gwine to git de wurf of my money, 1 is.” EMANCIPATED. Mrs. Ricketts—" What do you think of Mrs. Dickey ?” Mrs. Snooper—" She is one of the manliest little women I know.” AN INDULGENT HUSBAND, Sid iT oeneuald you haw ave ‘ire "Oh, 1 simply wanted change for this fifty-dollar bill which daira et me a papa gave me to-day.” Hussanp —"" No, | couldn't; {'m busted. Hustanp—" Why, sure ! here's forty dollars ; I'll owe you ten.”