Judge — June 1, 1895 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LIGHT MATERIAL, Chollie decides to take gas — —with this result, ON THE RAIL. HY do not people act natural on railway trains ? at home? For instance, the small boy requires a drink of water every seven minutes by the watch. When he is not drinking water he is putting his head out of the window. A baby on the cars always cries every time the train stops, When the baby is not crying it amuses itself by pulling the hair of the man in front. A woman requires the newsboy to bring her for inspection his entire stock of novels, but a woman never buys a book on the train. ‘On the other hand a man purchases enough newspapers for a Week's reading and leaves them unread in his seat upon quitting the car. A woman always puts her ticket in some out- of-the- way place, so the conductor will wait an hour for her to find it. “A man often wears a smoking-cap to save a sixty-cent hat from dust and travel stains. The verysmall young lady invariably occupies four or five seats at once. The passenger with a cold in his head or the sore throat always selects the seat nearest the door, with a window up in front of him. The ambition of every Pullman-car passenger is to engage the drawing-room section. If the sec- tion is already occupied he will tell you he applied for it just a moment too late. He always takes a section, so he says. : A woman gives the sleeping-car porter fifty cents as soon as she boards the train, Dur- ing the journey the porter is cross and ill-natured and the woman blames herself for having thrown her money away. A man tips the porter at the end of his journey, and for twenty-five cents he gets opposite treatment to the female passenger. Nothing is too good for the man who travels if he tips the porter at the end of his journey instead of at the start. The most incapable bootblack in the world is the sleeping-car porter. Why can they not behave as they do WILL at, CLEMENS, IT MAKES ALL THE DIFFEI Wie Granpr, Wine .0-0.0' Is that great big dish of ice-cream for you, grandpa?” 1 No, Willie ; that’s for you.” What a little bit,” Umph! HE FORGOT HIMSELF, EACON KETCHUM —* Wot yo’ doin’ t' dat base-ball bat, 'Rastus 7” *Rastus —"'I 's imbeddin’ a dynamite cartridge in de end of it. I ‘specs Miss Jackson ‘Il be in de gran’-stan’ ter-morrer, an’ if I doan’ extinguish mahself wiv a home- tun yo’ kin call me a fool.” nxt Rh anilgahl * pines THe CAPTAIN (next day) —'* Now den, Ketchum ! yo" naixt at de bat. Spit on yo’ hainds an’ rap de home plate fo’ luck.” *Rastus—"' Yo' kin ‘pend on me gittin’ dar, cap'n.” ya, “i ae Deacon Ketcuum (in Ais hitchen)—“* Fo! de good Lawd ! wot's dat ?* Voice. FROM ANOvE — "Dats de home-ran I wuz spoken ‘bout las’ night. Git an ax an’ chop me out.” comicbooks.com