Judge — May 25, 1895 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE WRONG TAIL, A REMEDY FOR BOTH EXTREMES, CotoneL Kentuck —* Whew! but it is SAME—"'Great Scott! it's hot, Retter take cold. Guess I'll take a nip to warm me up.” a drink to cool me off." READJUSTMENT DESIRED. ++] ADY,” said “Arry ‘Ighways, “de hors-radish what yer give me wid de hand-out created 4n unexpended balance uv appetite dat completely enweloped de grub an’ lapped over on de aidges more dan afoot. Now wid de assistance uv a ham-bone er a cold pie I would attempt ter make de assets correspond wid de liabilities an’ carry de balance over inter a new dividend. T’anks, lady. Yes, | wuz once in a bank—at night; but a smart man kin pick up a good deal in a little while.” And he went to work on his financial problem. A MISERABLE SINNER, BUT NOT THE WORST. TA REVIVAL in a country town the invitation was given for any one who wished to live a better life, and desired the prayers of the congregation, to rise. A man arose. The congregation was jubilant and noisy with “amens.” Looking about him, he said “There is no need of making such a fuss and noise. I ain't the “7 worst man that ever lived. TO THOMAS EDISON. ITS said that you, Tom Edison, Have patented a medicine TTA: Of which we need but take a drink ey And we can hear our neighbors think. 1 Oh, wondrous man! if this be true We soon can know as much as you. oD i i We'll of your mixture take a dose ‘ Ruse And hear you all your thoughts expose. SYeORM TORE 1 ; > SALE: New patents will be useless then, Or yours or those of other men. So, wizard, pause, while yet you may, And don’t thus give yourself away A RULE OF THE HOUSE. Fat old lady —"1'd like that cor- set, but I can’t pay fer it all to-day.” Saleswoman —“ That's all right, ma'am; We generally sell these sizes on the installment plan.” NO OCCASION FOR ALARM. Cumso —" What do you think of the coming woman ?” Cawker —"She' is not worrying me. If she waits to button her gloves CUSABLE MISTAKE. she will not arrive in your lifetime or Mr. Saw (of New England)—"* B'gosh, Samantha! them city accommodations is great.” mine.” comicbooks.com