Judge, 1895-05-11 · page 6 of 16
Judge — May 11, 1895 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects brief humorous sketches reflecting Victorian-era anxieties and social commentary: **"An Eye to the Future"** satirizes remarriage—a widow refuses to stop mentioning her first husband, claiming she'll discuss the current husband after he's dead too. **"A Few Generations Hence"** jokes about women entering financial markets, depicting two female investors discussing stock losses with humor about crying (contrasting stereotypically "emotional" women with men). **"A Proposal"** presents absurdist courtship humor: a shy man proposes marriage by taking his girlfriend to his family burial plot. **"One Way"** darkly satirizes institutional indifference—a child explains her sick dog died after a policeman gave it a "dog-button" and "buttoned him right up," implying official negligence. The remaining sketches lampoon phrenology (pseudo-scientific head-bumps), excessive book-learning in women, and constant activity as business virtue. The tone reflects Judge's characteristic blend of gentle mockery toward modern life and emerging social changes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
KEEPS THINGS MOVING. SOYHY was the bee selected as Ww a model of industry?” asked Tillinghast. * Because business with him is always humming,” replied Gil- dersleeve. CONSTANT ACTION. “What kind of a ur baby, old man?” “Why, you've seen es. Quigley —" But I've never seen it in repose.”* WHAT IT MAY COME TO. 66 7S SHE such a well-read young woman, then?” “Indeed she is. Why, only last week she passed the examina- tion in ‘ Trilby* and * Napoleon’.” Wigley. her a dozen ti 2 : ay = a ils A BUMP OF PUGNACITY. PHRENOLOGICAL LECTURER—"* Ah ! here we have an abnormal bump of vidently a great lover of home and wife.” Mr. Jackson (sguirming)—" Go easy on dat bump, boss. she lammed me wif a flat-iron las’ night.” amativeness. AN EYE TO THE FUTURE, ** My dear, Iam sick and tired of hearing you talk about your first husband.” “You are? Well, don’t you expect me to talk about you after you are dead and gone?” A FEW GENERATIONS HENCE, Mrs. WALL—"' Here's a telegram that the market 's broke; that means I'm five thousand long on wheat, If 1 were a man, now, I'd have a good cry over it.” Mrs, Boxps—" By Juno! that's bad ; but I've no doubt a few tears ‘d cheer you up. My husband gets over most of his troubles that way ; if his spring hat is unbecoming, or the kitchen man is impudent, he just has a cry- ing fit of an hour or so and then he’s all right, I'd advise you to try it.” Dat's whar’ A PROPOSAL. A BASHFUL youth was much in love, But lacked the courage to propose ; At last an inspiration came — Now listen, all ye bashful beaux. He took the damsel out one day ‘To his own family burial-lot And asked her how she'd like at last To rest in that sequestered spot. NRLEN W, GROVE, ONE WAY. Visitor—* Where's your little dog, Essie?” Hsste— Gone to heaven,” Visitor— You feel quite sure of that ? Essie—""Nep. He was sick, an’ a pleeceman gave him a dog- button an’ buttoned him right up.” YES; HIS POEM WAS REJECTED, comicbooks.com