Judge — April 20, 1895 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Cook — Pshaw | Assistant — Cook —"* Why? to make a forty-five-cent puddin; THE CLERGYMAN AT EASTER. HE'S ivst as good as good can be, And that’s what makes it funny ‘That no one sins as much as he In marrying for money. Orrenueiiek—" Vell, vell! dot vas a gread gombination scheme, und dot man vas got a gread headt fur pizniss—eh, Reubenstein 7” “Shut up!" roared the parental tyrant. “What I was about to say is this— when that young man comes next Sunday night and you go nosing around at three o'clock in the morning to find pie for him do not leave the dining-room door open so A RRLIABL WHY BOSTON AND CHICAGO SHOULD BE SWORN FRIENDS. NOT SO VERY SCANDALOUS. . swat do you think?” said one Chicago woman to another in an awestruck whisper. ‘ Miss Dearborn has married one of her father's clerks.” “ Only one?” replied the other interrogatively. BENEATH HIM. I'm getting tired of this job.” The idea of a ‘king a ten-thousand-dollar chef A REGULATION CONGREGATION. Heap DEACON (in a hoarse whisper)—" Hold on thar, pard. can’t pray, an’ the can’ts "ll git jealous an’ shoot the lights out.” ssLJELOISE,” a said the fierce old man; “ Heloise !" He gaz- ed upon her as she stood before him, palpitating with the calm joy of a maid- en who has suc- cessfully sat up all ® night with a clerk in the cotton-goods department and has come down to breakfast at eleven o'clock. “ Heloise, when that young man "— MONUMENTAL GRIEF. mine and Walter's "—— that the cat can get in and break the milk-pitcher.” With a low, sad wail she passed out of the door and sank ten dollars and fifty cents that afternoon for a new Faster bonnet, A WwonoEN, BEWILDERED. [8 JUDGMENT now 1 daily err, As cycles past me whirl ; I gayly call * Good-morning, sir! ‘Then find it was a girl. WHAT HE WANTED. Boy (to grocer) —* Gim- mea pound o' coffee !* (Gro- cer proceeds to weigh out coffee.) ‘No, I mean tea!” Grocer—" Look here, Mr. Crazy-on-skates, which do you want, tea or coffee ?” Boy—" Butter.” LOVE LAUGHS, ETC. Cholly used to have some difficulty in getting to the house of his beloved — New Parson (af Deadguich chapel)—" Brethren, let us pray.” ‘Take that back an’ say yer'll do the prayin’ yerself, Some o' these ducks kin pray an’ some uv ‘em FROM A REALISTIC NOVEL. “Stop, papa!” and she strode forward. “You may tear me limb from limb, incarcerate me in prison, banish me from home, but such love as — but all that is over now, comicbooks.com