Judge — January 26, 1895 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sudge HE THOUGHT HE WAS SAFE. — |MPORTANT LEGAL POINT. se YOU wished to see me?” said the lawyer as the living skeleton from the dime- museum approached. “Yes, sir, 1 want advice ‘on an important point.” “Go on.” “Tam in love with the two- headed girl If 1 marry her can 1 be prosecuted for 3 = Ss Sr >) TOO PERTINENT. Wanperinc Witiie—"' I say, fellers; let's all sing dat good old song, ‘Carry me back to de place where | wuz born.” Huncry Hoke (Jorrified)—"* Hold on dere, boys! 1 wuz born in jail.” A GREAT PROMOTER. HEY were talking about promoters and men who had been the means of mak- ing others rich without profiting much them- selves “Yes,” interposed the lean individual with the yreasy four-in-hand; “1 myself have made more ‘ ‘ 2 ly than a thousand million, 79. PSG), ee THE KODAK FIEND. aires and multi*'million- bai aires.” Great Scott!" ejacu- NEVER AS ACTIVE AS THAT. ++ YOU don't believe in spiritualism? Now look here. What would you say if you were at one of these seances and you should see a great heavy square piano with eight men sitting on the top of it flying around the room? Sometimes it comes near hitting you, then sails awa “I don't know about the spirits of your friends and relatives, but Ican tell you plainly that my friends while they were on the earth never tugged around eight lazy fellows on a piano, and I am sure they are not doing it now they are dead.” Mrs, Tibbitts (in railroad wreck)—*" My poor husband! All that Mr. Tibbitts (faintly)—" Quick, my dear! Your arms lated the red-nosed man, “An’ yew hai hee don’t seem to'be broken. Get just one exposure before shud think... What's yer business?” 7 * Dime-novelist,” was the weary reply: the survivors come.” SOMETIMES CORRECT. Bobby —" Pa, what is a man from London called?" Pa—"A Londoner.” Bobby—" What do they call a THROUGHOUT the animal kingdom the male is the superior ani- mal. Pardon, sisters; the accident of sex is against you. ON THE LOCAL EXPRESS, THE old brakeman was coaching the new one. When we get toa station,” he said, "II call out the name of it froth my end of thé car and you nlust do the same thing from yours." The first sta- tion was reach- ed. Theold brakenian called from the front of the car, * Stam- ford! Stam- ford!’ while the surprised passengers heard the new man roar from the rear door, “Same at this end! Same at this end!" WHY HE WAS NOT REWARDED. Sam—"'Sally Finch said in ther pellin’-bee thet ef I told her how ter spell a HAS ITS OWN REWARD. word she would give me a kiss arter school.”” a SS YVHAT do you think of the modern game of foot-ball, doctor?” “An didn’t yer tell her? eatin cas 3 thee Of course I told her; but, goldern it! I told her wrong.” “T think, sir, that the punishment fits the crime. comicbooks.com