Judge — January 26, 1895 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

SCARED. Grocer—"* Want money, eh? Well, just go and split that pile of boxes into kindling-wood and an actor out of a T'll give you fifty cents." job. "Tran (growing weak in the knees as he stares at legend on boxes)—"'1 ain't got de strength fer sech a job, sur.” THE ALTERNATIVE. BAND-MASTER—"A leedle somedings fur dot leedle Sherman pand, blease.”* Hovseiotvex—* Why, you haven't played yet, have you?” f ve dovd ged some money.” Banv-masteR—"' Nein ; bud ve vill i ALL THE COMFORTS OF HOME, Gaviusit (attacked by thugs at two a,m.)—'* (Hic) Hol’ on, M'ria! ‘Sh all righ’ (hic). F'give 1 me thish time, M’ria (hic). Buy y’ new hat t'-morrer, M’ria (hic). JUDGMENTS. *s*THE second thief is the best keeper” of the first. Man may cir- cumvent Nature, but he cannot crush her. Who “fights and runs away” may never have an- other chance. so often the success of one means the failure of many. There is no niche in life for a cross old man or A most un- comfortable man to live with is one who never makes a mis- take, He who analyzes too closely wears the tissue of his thoughts to rags. A weak man “ swears off"; a strong one says to himself, ““ Thou shalt not.” True happiness lies less in having things as you want them than in wanting things as they are. MADELINE ORVIS. NOT TO BE EXPECTED. +6 PUT up or shut up,” said one pugil- ist to another. “Till put up,” was the latter's reply. “But surely you do not expect me to vio- late the tenets of our profession by shutting up?” ITS PROPER PLACE. > Mr. Hojack (at dinner) —" My © dear, isn’t it very queer for you to serve soup after the beef?” Mrs. Hojack—" Not at all, love. This is ox- tail soup.” CAREFUL OF HIS HEALTH. ¢ THE condemned man didn’t eat very much breakfast before the execution.” “No; he \ said he was afraid it would give him dyspep- sia.” It is a pity that HOW CHOLLY GOT IN OUT OF THE COLD. comicbooks.com