Judge, 1895-01-12 · page 4 of 16
Judge — January 12, 1895 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains several satirical cartoons and brief comic pieces typical of Judge's social humor: **"A Discriminating Barber"** mocks a barber who boasts of never misjudging customers' intelligence, yet immediately proves himself wrong by asking Cawker about a rat-killing match—revealing the barber lacks the discrimination he claims. The joke is on the barber's self-delusion. **"The Worm Will Turn"** depicts an African American man (Uncle Ebony) complaining of non-support to a relative, playing on racial stereotypes common to the era's humor. **Other pieces include**: - "Epitaphs from Stone in Alfred, Maine"—touching, satirical tombstone inscriptions - "Justifiable"—dark humor about a jury excusing murder due to victim's tedious tariff speeches - "Financial"—a joke about the "Baltimore plan" being trust in marriage rather than planning - "Expensive Nose"—a quip about a man's large nose limiting cigar smoking - "A Juicy Joint"—references to Monte Carlo gambling The page reflects late 19th/early 20th-century American satire targeting pretension, incompetence, and social hypocrisy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
20 A DISCRIMINATING BAR- BER. elt IS true that barbers talk a great deal,” said the tonsorial artist as he lathered Cawker’s chin, “but it seems to be a necessity. The patient in the chair with noth- ing but his own thoughts to occupy his mind would be rather lonesome, don’t you suppose ?” Cawker supposed he would. “Barbers need to be good judges of human nature too, that they may adapt the subject of their conversation to the mental capacity zs XN of the men they are operating upon. I think I can truthfully say that 1 never made a mistake in estimating the mental calibre of the men I talk to while at work.” “That so? “Yes, it is. Think how awk- ward it would be if when I was shaving a clergyman | inadvertently THE WORIEWILL' TURN: began to discuss the latest prize- Dasnaway—"'I hear that you have left your fight; or, on the other hand, if | wife, uncle. attempted to entertain a base-ball | UNCLE Eyony—*" Ves, sah ; T couldn’ stan’ . jn it no mo’, sal crank on the latest developments in Daatinee y=) Willer was:tile twooble™ theological thought.” Unctr Enc “So it would.” “Non-support, sah.” “Of course it is easy to distinguish clergymen, but it requires considerable ability to size up an ordinary man and select a subject which will interest him; but, as I said, I have never made a mistake in all my professional career.” “That's very remarkable,” commented Cawker. There was silence for four or five seconds, broken by the barber's query, “Did you happen to be at the rat-killing match at Sliney's night before last?” He got no reply. Cawker was too angry to speak,and he never went back to that barber. WILLIAM HENEY SIVITER EPITAPHS FROM A STONE IN ALFRED, MAINE. TWO buds were born on a stem ; Both were frail yet fair as a dove. John lives to bloom—but the gem Has soared to eternal realms above.” My only daughter has gone away. She has gone for good ‘And is going to stay.” By her father. * May he rest in peace till we meet again, By his wife, ean A JUICY JOIN FIRST EX-POLICE PANTATA (at Monte Carlo)—"* Say, Rooney, is dis heaven, EXPENSIVE NOSE. “* [smoke about thirty cigars a day.” With such a nose you can only smoke a third part of a cigar.” ANN iy a » He yy JUSTIFIABLE. seTHIS jury finds that the de- ceased came to his doom through persistence in making tariff speeches in the face of a wearied and outraged public sentiment. His taking off was a little irregular, but in the light of the facts it cannot be called a misfortune, and all who had anything to do with it are hereby declared ‘ not guilty.’ FINANCIAL, Miss Slowgoing —* What is the Baltimore plan we read so much about in the papers, Mr. Wise?” Mr. Wise — “The Baltimore plan, Miss Nellie, is—it is—Nellie— not to keep eternally waiting, but to go through the ceremony and trust to fate and rich relatives.” The marriage took piace the following week. F or am I dreaming ?” Skconp DiTTo—"'It must be heaven fer de captain uv dis precinct, Casey.” comicbooks.com