Judge — December 22, 1894 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE “Lcan’t stop it in the mid- dle of the block, sir,” replied the conductor. “* You must wait till you get to the next corner.” But you must stop now, I say! It’s a matter of the utmost DURING THE HOLIDAYS. SHE great bane of American life is too much haste," said Mr. Bloobumper to his friend, Mr. Spats, as the two rode down town together on the way to business. “You are right,” assented Spatts “It is the incessant hurry and worry, the going at lightning speed, as though we had only to-day to live, which saps our vitality as a nation by undermining the vital forces of each individual.” As Mr. Bloobumper finished this sentence he drew from the inside pock- et of his coat a long memorandum. book and passed his finger through its contents. He gave a little start and inspected the papers it contained more carefully. Then he jumped up and yelled to the conductor, “Hi, there! Stop the car, quick!" Monsieur Rotrot, the greatest of mimics, introduces his impersonations with the “kind assistance of a few wigs.” Napoleon, importance. I'm in a dreadful hurry.” “Impossible, sir; but we'll be at the next corner in a few seconds.” Mr. Bloobumper stemed too excited to tell Mr. Spatts the cause of his sudden perturbation while the car sped on, but when the next corner was reached the two got off, and while Mr. Bloo- bumper was waiting for the next car back he said to Mr. Spatts, * Before 1 left home I sign- ed a blank cheque, intending to bring it to the city with me. 1 must have left it on my desk in the library.” - v BUSINESS DEPR ON IN “LITTLE ITALY.” Sacristo—"* Maka any mon to-day, Colombo?" CoLomno—"* Nota nickela.” Sackisto—'* Whata the trouble ?* CoLomno—** I ran outa lead.” 2, Bismarck, 3. Cleveland, BUT HE WASN'T BUILT THAT WAY. 4. Harrison. CAUSE FOR THANKFULNESS. Watkins (who has fallen for the twen- ticth time)—""1 am (hic) blank glad I bor- rowed Jawkins's dress-suit.”” “It will be perfectly safe, I should think,” Mr. Spats ventured. “ Safe!" roared Bloobumper. “If my wife gets hold of that cheque she'll have all the cash I have out of that bank inside of an hour. My only hope is that she hasn't been in the library by the time 1 get back home.” The car came along and bore his friend away, while Mr. Spatts stood and mused. Before he left the corner he saw, speeding by him in another car, Mrs. Bloo- bumper. She wore a satisfied smile and was clearly bent on a joyous day's shop- ping. Mr, Spatts took out his watch and figured that she would reach the bank and be gone again fully three-quarters of an hour before her husband could get home, find his cheque gone, and then hasten to the bank after her. And even so it came to pass. WILLIAM MEnKY SIVITER, 5. George, the father of his country. comicbooks.com