Judge, 1894-12-01 · page 3 of 20
Judge — December 1, 1894 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Page 339: Judge Magazine Satire This page contains multiple unrelated satirical sketches typical of Judge magazine's format: **"Thrice Blessed"** (top): A social commentary on clergy attendance at dinner parties. The joke mocks the practice of inviting multiple ministers to appear pious, with the youngest guest embarrassed by the excessive "blessing" of the meal. **"A New Industry"** and other sketches below explore everyday absurdities: a professor explaining boxing weight classes, observations about dogs' daily lives, and various social pretensions. **"Her Idea of It"** and "Eminent Players"** mock romantic misunderstandings and theatrical pretension respectively. The sketches share Judge's characteristic style: satirizing middle-class social conventions, professional vanity, and generational attitudes through brief, punchy dialogue and exaggerated character drawings. Without specific historical context for individual references, the humor relies on recognizable social types rather than particular political figures or events.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
339 THRICE BLESSED. | A CONVOCATION of churches was held in Green- ; field and the Joneses entertained three of the clergy, who, as ill-luck would have it, were deaf as so many posts, Seated at the table, each guest— one because he was a friend of the family, another because he was the oldest minister in the conference, and the third because he was a stran- ger—expected to be called upon for the blessing. When Mr. Jones made the request and bent his head each minis- ter, seeing the signal, promptly per- formed the duty. The triple blessing was too much for the gravity of the youngest member of the family, who, sent from the table in disgrace and know- ing that the guests could not hear her, remarked as she was leaving the room that the dinner was a little better off than the quality of mercy —it was thrice blessed ! A NEW INDUSTRY. *6\VJHAT do you teach Ww at your school, pro- fessor ?” “The art of conversa- THOSE PLEASANT GIRLS. Do you have many That reminds me. I must inquire from my fiancé to-morrow what business he is in.” classes?” Ciana—"L judge, by the looks of the ring he gave you, that he must be a gaaz “Only four — feather- weight, welterweight, middleweight and heavy- CONCISE. rae +S YOU are all the world to : A pera at ao ¥ ’ COB VERY dog has his day.” He could have his American fiancée; “and you s nights too if he were a cat. are of the opinion that the world owes you a living” HER IDEA OF IT. Auntie —" Well, Ethel, how did you like your Turkish bath?” Ethel (breathlessly) — “Oh, auntic, it was awful! 1 was in tears all over my body.” EMINENT PLAYERS. seTHER of poker going on in that side room.” “ Who's playing >” “Aman from Pine Bluft is pitted against a Council Bluffer.” 1. A SUBTERFUGE. T do not know what team Mr. Spriggins belongs to, but he certain. is practicing very hard. He carries that foot-ball with him every morning.” CONSOLIDATING THEM, +6 DAPA,” said Benny Bloobumper as he munched his turkey drumstick, “do chickens and tur- keys go to heaven ?” No, Benny,” replied Bloobumper. “They get their necks twirled in this,” HIS PERSONAL PROPERTY. Mr. Front Pugh +" Queer kind of man this Par- son Longwind, v Mrs. Front Pug. In what respect, my dear?” 2, A SUBTERFUGE. Mr. Front Pugh —" We always speaks of his ail- Mr. Srricoins (office of Grindum, Doun & Co., ment as ‘my winter pulmonary trouble,’ as though he /*e/?¢ m.) =~ A foot-ball may not be as convenient to 5 carry a lunch in as a lunch-basket, but one may keep had a corner on bronchitis his fashionable friends and not go without his lunch,” comicbooks.com