Judge — November 24, 1894 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Great laughter in court when the presiding judge makes a bad joke. MOVEMENT IN REAL ESTATE. se]S THERE any movement of real estate here?" asked a stranger in a Pennsylvania town. “No, stranger,” replied a resident; “but ef yell go four miles south o” here ye'll sce th’ purtyest cave-in ye ever come acrost.” LIKED THEM WELL GROWN. The mamma—*At what age do you consider children most inter- esting 2” The bachelor friend — Any time after thirty.” tree, etc, etc. UP TO DATE. JouNNIE—"* Bod-hoo, boo-hoo! Mamma, Tommie 's done robbed me of me dollar wot grandpa gave me.” Why, Tommie; what do you mean by such conduct?” He said he wanted ter play Jacsny (after a day off) —"'1 say, fellows! how's that for eight Lours’ solid sport at Biglie ponds?” IT MAKES ALL THF DIFFERENCE. HELPLESS THING! JUST as the papers say, there are a great_many things a woman can't do—keep a secret, climb a Here are a few things a man can't do: Take a pin by the head and put it into a cushion without pricking himself. Light a fire in a cold kitchen-range without burn- ing himself before he is through. Tie anybody's necktie but his own. Hold a baby. Open a hot boiled egg. Carry more than ne item of memo- randa in his mind at a time. Find anything that he looks for. Husband (drawing pocket-book from pocket reluctantly)—* Well, my dear, how much is it to-day, anyway Wife (hesitatingly going shopping "—— Husband (relieved)—" Oh, that’s all you were going to tell me, is turns purse to pocket unopened.) A COUNTERFEIT FISHERMAN, SMALL Boy (entering at this moment)—* Say, mister, dat dollar yer give me fer dem fish is counterfeit.” ‘The court a few minutes later when a witness makes a good one. WHERE TO DRAW THE LINE. A MAN overhearing a quarrel between Mr. and Mrs. W abused man, “Shall I tell you what I'd do? I'd say to her, ‘Here's my coat; you can have that. Here's my vest; you can have that. You can have my pants, but I swear you shall not have my shirt.’ And I'd stick to it.” ONE OF THE FREAKS OF FASHION. Bridget (at the photographer's, looking at her new tintypes)— “Shure, an’ how big they are takin’ th’ mouths now!" said to the MADELINE ORVIS, A FALSE ALARM. " W—ell, I was JUDGE'S FASHION DESIGN. The wheel-costume for female bicyclist. 2” (Ree comicbooks.com