Judge — November 3, 1894 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE DARK DIAMOND- DUST. ‘ GOOD many men look at duty as a woman does at a gun—dey am afraid toe discharge hit. “would I wust a boy agin,” but I would like toe taik AURE fF dis ole head back wid me. Als STAVERS Ef yo’ has a good wife an’ a good banjo doan’ keep y pickin’ on ‘em all de time an’ expect ‘em toe keep in tune. 4 #PVULLS. A good wife will remembah dat hit taiks free mont’s toe git aroun’ de worl’ an’ yo’ kin git aroun’ yo’ husban’ in five minutes an’ govern yo'self ‘cordin'ly. When a canderdate am selected fo’ his bar'l de head am ginerally left out. De marketable value ob de rings on a raccoons tail an’ a niggah’s piety in watermelon time am always quoted alike. : Dar am a great many fish caught besides on rainy days, an’ dar am some mighty fine folks wid pullet-fed- ders in deir ash-heap. ALT. WORDEX. HIGH TEA IN AVENUE A. Mrs. Fay—Arrah! but it’s the foine cup av tay ye do be afferin’ me this afthernoon, Mrs, Mulcahy." Mrs. Mulcahy—" \t is thot same, Mrs. Fay; and thin it do take the second wather so beautiful.” A SERIOUS QUESTION. Guarp—"'See here! did you put that bill up there?” BILL-roster—"* Now say, Cholly ; seri- ous, do you think I's de telescopic man?” PULPIT POLITICS. Minister (prays)—"And, oh. Lord, we beseech Thee to guide the minds of our people in the way of truth. May the chosen rulers of our state and of our city ever be God-fearing men, who shall ad- minister the laws to the advancement of honesty AIR and purty and all righteousness.” ‘Acant—"' Exguse me, sir, bud I haf here a corn- —Grend Scott, man! dot vas mine com Diewasted Dessor st (matters) 41m going to salve varranted to cure in dwenty-four hours.— you tread on.” leave this church, I hate politics in the pulpit. NO SOLACE. Ruperts (formerly the living ‘skeleton)—"" See here, Crawley ; get de bearded lady back frum her vacashun or I'll t'row up her job. I'm dead sick o' standin’ See?” in dat box all day wearin’ a hot wig an’ false whiskers widout even bein’ erlowed de kumfort o’ a chaw o’ terbacker. comicbooks.com