Judge — November 3, 1894 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OF NO USE EXCEPT TO OWNER. Brown (to western visitor)—"* When you were here before I wasn't married. WESTERN FRIEND (interrupting hastily)—* Why—honest, pard—it's real kind of you an’ your wife, I'm sure—an’ the boys at Deadgulch wouldn't go back on the kid neither ; but—meanin’ no offense, pard—I'd a little sooner you'd keep him yourself.” A QUEER FELLOW, DICKENS. Se DPIS feller Dickens must be a queer customer,” said Raggles. “I see him advertisin’ in all de book-shops* Dick- ens works fer one dollar.’ 1 wouldn't work fer ten.” SHORT AT THE TOP. She —* Well, Jack, how do you like my coming-out dress ?” He — W's very appropriate.” She—" What do you mean by that ?” He —* Well, you seem to be coming out of BOSTON’S FOUR HUNDRED. Maud—" Did you attend any of the society functions in Boston?” Clara—" Oh, yes. You know aunty, whom I visited there, belongs to the ice- cream de la icecream of Boston.” A BAFFLING DISEASE. Deacon Ketcium—*' Dis insomnia am a drefful incon- venient disease, pahson. It’s a powaiful lot ob trubble to me.” PARSON JOHNSON" I didn’t know you had it.” Deacon Kercuum—"' I hain’t ; but Squiah Hennery has, an’ sits up all night watchin’ his chicken-coop.”* CoxcrEssmAn (repairing his fences) — that during the last session of congress I was always on the move trying to his neighbor. sapaune onvis, to save the country.” HIS LEVEL BEST, Voice, Co; * Wot did yer move?” SMAN—"'T moved to ad- inety-seven distinct times.” EXPLAINED. SC THE difference between you and me,” said the thief to the self-seeking politician, “is that you are always running after offices, but the officers are always running after me.” IN THE SAME BOAT. Successful novelist (contempt- uously)—" I understand you made your money betting on horses ?” Successful plunger (compla- cently)—" Yes; like yourself I have played the race for all it was worth.” Now there is a baby for you"—— ‘And don't forget, my friends, ORIGIN OF THE LATEST STYLE IN LADIES’ HATS AND COLLARS. JUDGMENTS. MAKE yourself necessary, To have a friend you must Truth is stranger than fic~ tion and more scarce, Ceremonies differ, but po- liteness is ever the same. The error of a moment may become the sorrow of a life. A woman is most a heroine when she has her hero by her side. The filter of misfortune sep- arates true friendship from the scum, Man or woman has no nat- ural gift more captivating than a sweet smile. It may be more honorable to tell a man his faults to his face, but it is safer to tell them ‘ROAR MATERIAL,” comicbooks.com