Judge — October 13, 1894 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

234 TWO SIDES. BOTH rich and poor have reason to repine, And oft discover that things don’t go right ; ‘The rich need appetite that they may dine— ‘The poor need dinners for their appetite. CIRCUMSTANTIAL EVIDENCE. Magistrate (to witness)—" I understand that you overheard the quarrel between this defendant and his wife?” Witness — Vis, sor.” Magistrate—* Tell the court, if you can, what he seemed to be doing.” Witness —" He seemed to be doin’ the listenin’.”” GRAVE OBJECTION TO CRE- MATION. oe AT are you giving Ww Us?" Gravedigger said. ** How ‘Il Learn my living If you urn your dead 7” NOT A GRAMMARIAN. Brake O'Day (out of breath) —"* Give me a drink, quick, Dewey ! I jest sawed a cord of wood over in dat yard.” Dewry Ew What's dat! You actually handled a saw ?" Brake O'L 3 [sawed it before I got into de gate, an’ run most a mile. > ad MS gh INCOMPREHENSIBLE. —Drive erlong, sonny.” Boor uiack —**Yer've done me, boss, but I Mr. Pappixs —“ Farve — won't squeal ef yer'll ans‘er me wun questshun.”” caints, uh ?—— D * Whadl am dat?” How ‘d yer get yer pants on QUIEKLY DECIDED. THERE was the noise of a scuffle outside the door and the next moment John, the |‘, butler, burst into the presence of his mistress, holding by the coat-collar a young man whom he found concealed in the coal-hole. “A burglar!" she shrieked. “Send for a policeman.” “Pause, madam,” said the captive coolly. “T'm no burglar. I'm the society reporter for the Town Clarion. Here are a few notes of an interesting conversation I overheard be- 6 tween your husband andthe chamber-maid, id Calla policeman, madam, and that conversation goes into the paper with a display héad.” “ Lethimgojohn,” drop- _ ped from her lips in a bunch. She was in too big a hur- ty to space the words. FIXED UP. Skip Magee —" Didn't you say dat you wanted ter git Den- nis Hogan an’ his fader terged- der?” Dan Coughlin— Av coorse Idid. Dey ain't spoke wid aich other for t'ree mont’s.” Skip Magee —"Well, dey got demselves tergedder round de corner an’ it took a big Dutch grocer an’ two p'leecemin ter git ‘em apart agin.” PRELIMINARY. Pat —""Be very careful, now, Mary Ann, thot Oi'm not disturbed this avenin’; fur as ye know Oi'm very toired, and Oi always loike to take a short nap before Oi go to shlape.” BUSINESS. ND now the cry of the whole country is that of Helen's baby —* Want to sce wheels go Shetched by Judge's special artist. round,” comicbooks.co a. m: