Judge — September 22, 1894 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE QUITE CORRECT. Mrs. Youngwife—" You know those lovely nine-dollar dining- room gongs we saw the other day? Well, to-day they were- marked down to six dollars and seventy-five cents, so 1 got three.” Her husband—" Heavens and earth | what did you get three for?” Mrs, Youngwife (sweetly) —" Why, one for each meal, of course.” TESTIMONIAL. FTER taking three bottles. of Spudd’s sarsaparilla: I felt so much like a new woman that: I was” counted twice in the census of Chi- cago. ° I took it regular, and anything else in plain sight. 1 had that tired feeling always when in sight of work, Iwas at one’ time so that I could not sleep without snoring,- and nothing would sit on my stomach but the night- mare. My complexion was bad, and my hair came out in handfuls in the last. row I-had with, the cook. > My friends all gave me up to die with alac- rity. I was confined closely to in-door life for three months. by the-advice of + the justice of the peace. Since I have been: out my circulation has improved. I haven't counted the-beats. Letters inclosing stamps will receive attention, «You bet. ATW, CAPTAIN-OF AFRICAN GIANTS (sorathfull spile yoright heah.” + = MR2SI satchah gvan'——= MPSON—"* Well, dat i$ Geo'ge Djxor IN, KENTUCKY. “* Thet war er powerful fetchin® sarmon ther deacon preached at ther camp-meetin’ yesterday.” ** What did he say?" ‘ “He said thet sinners needn't ‘spect ter find any.whisky in hell ; it war all reserved fer the righteous above.” A BUNCH OF FRESH BEATS. HER POWER. HE tamed the haughty and the proud, But gave new courage to humility ; ‘This lustrous maiden was endowed And crowned with irresistibility. The flowers at her coming rose, While nature bowed as her adorer ; And lowly, at the day's soft close, ‘The sun himself went down before her. COMPARATIVE, Singer —" Yes, my friend is a member of the St. Barbara surpliced choir.” Sanger—‘Is he a soloist ?” Singer— No, only a solo-er.” We heahs yo’ am managah ob a nine dat y9'am‘blowin’ can do ouah team. > Now, sah, name yo' men, or we'll hah i Godfrey, fast base -Petah Jac}on,-who am in de nex’ room an* will corrob'rate mah statements, am —olly ! dat war de name dat caught dem cons; but I wo'd went {roo de whole list ob champeen colahed boxahs ‘fo’ I'd let dem spile me, Shuah !” comicbooks.com