Judge — September 22, 1894 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

IN VAIN. | N THE rear parlor of a small hotel in the suburbs of Jersey City two women sat fac- ing each other. ‘The most casual observer would have seen at a glance that they were deadly en- emies, and as the elder woman drew her chair closer to the other it was easy to see that she was not prompted by anything but the most bitter feelings. “I have sent-for you to meet me at this place,” she muttered rapidly, “and now that we are alone, face to face, let me warn you of what you are attempting to do jin trying to steal away from me the heart of the man I love, Are you aware, Gladys Clingstone,that you y. are dealing with no THE FOUR SEASONS— EXECUTED By S<hool-girl, but a MR. POODLE AND HIS DOG, woman tried and 1. Spring expe seare GOOD RUNNING COLORS. tall the sub Mus. REVEREND Goopman—"‘Are these fast colors ? tle emotions NEW CLERK (a former tout)—"* Why, say, lady; you kin bet on dem colors ofthe human ev'ry time you see’em up. Dem’s de colors uv de Hyers’ stable, lady.” heart? Are you aware that you are no match for me in an affair of this kind—that your efforts will be in vain? The tricks that you may resort to I know but too well, and it is to tell you that it is useless to endeavor to thwart me that I have sent for you.” The young girl at her side moved rapidly toward the full-length mirror at the other end of the room and re-arranged the curl in the middle of her forehead. “You speak the truth,” she said lightly as she faced her rival. “A woman older, more versed in love-matters than 1, it would under ordinary circumstances be an easy thing for. you to outwit me; but you are laboring at present under a terrible disadvantage.” o THE WORST KIND. Mrs, Jadders —"Are you afraid of lightning ?” Mrs. Trem por— “Only of the kind that my husband gets in New Jersey.” LOGIC. Winnie —" Mamma, doesn’t the bible say all people are made of dust?” Mamma—"Yes, Winnie.” Winnie—“Well, then, I suppose Aunt Di- nah was made of coal dust, wasn't she?" “And what may that be?” anxiously asked the other. “It is this,” replied the young girl as she walked toward the door and waved to a passing car; “you seem to forget that you are al- ready his wife.” ou seasson, A MIGHTY PROBLEM, AA PSEUDO scientific authority asserts that the average im- migrant, when he lands at Ellis island, has on his person an ulster, an overcoat, two undercoats, five waistcoats, three shirts, two undershirts, a pair of overalls, two pairs of trousers and six hundred and seventy-five thou- sand two hundred and ninety-one fleas. Two thousand of these immigrants landed the other day. Now get out your slate and multiply it all up, and see how many second-hand-clothing stores and dogs they would furnish. CAUSE AND EFFECT. [ TAUGHT her how to fence with foils, ‘Tq box with gloves—and now, Since we are married, I don't dare To raise the smallest row. Ac M. WILLIAMS, , + THE REASON. HE DIDN'T PASS MUSTER. e fp EADDNEMER talk F through my “hat,” said the Bos- ton maiden. “No,” said the Chicago girl “If you tried it your words would get all tangled up in the trimmings.”" yn 2. Summer. A WOMAN'S WRONG. Blabton —" Why are the women of to-day so heavily laden?” Ratle) ve it up. Why?" Blabton — Because they carry a leg of mutton on each arm.” Tibbles—* Did you ever travel in Afri Quibbles (globe-trotter)—" Yes, 1 went there once with my colored valet, who wanted to see where his grand- mother live Tibbles — Did he find her?” Quibbles— He found her, but she wouldn't have anything to do with him.” Tibbles —* How was that?” wpe - Quibbles — Well, the old lady é A L Scag Padre : thought he had too much white blood LARENCE—"" You look fwightfully healthy this even"; sel ” since Suigerit eo, dosh bene in his veins to be respectable. Wittix—* Know't, old chap; but, ‘pon honor, it's not me fault. yeh know. Me bloomin’ dentist was on me blawsted " me ho teeth for six beastly hours this awft, ye know. Six hours FAVORITE hymn of the barber— without cigawettes did the twick, me boy.” “Soon we'll lather at the river.” 4. Winter. : comicbooks.com