Judge — September 8, 1894 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE THE POPULIST’S DREAM. OMEHAOW-—er some time—er in some kind of a way— They'll pass a law tew make good times, an’ when they come they'll stay, With a dollar a pound fer butter an’ half as much fer hay. ‘An’ money ‘Il be at three per cent. an’ lots of it tew lend, An’ fellers ‘Il give our farms a boom with lots of cash tew spend, ‘An’ farmers ‘Il smoke Key West cheroots an’ walk with a Grecian bend, We'll wear a sash an‘ crease our pants an’ cultivate foot-ball hair, ‘An’ wear shirt-waists that button behind, tan shoes a dollar a pair, ———— An'— _ But there's the boys a-goin’ tew ~ work, an’ I must harness the mare. ATW. HE FORGOT HIMSELF. HEN the new boarder came in to dinner it was rather late. Only one or two were at the table beside the landlady. He spoke to no one until the waiter laid a plate of meat before him, and then he burst out, “Great Scott! Do you call this a dinner fit for a civilized man? Why on earth don’t you get some victuals fit to eat? What do you call this carrion here "—— THE COMMERCIAL INSTINCT, Lire Isaac—“* Say, Batsy, vill yer mudder lick yer very hard ven yer geds home?" Litrie Patsy—'* You jest bet she will.” LittLe Isaac—"" So vill mine, Batsy. Led’s stay in der vater dree hours more und so ged full value fur our lickin’s.. He did not finish his question, for as his eye swept up to the head of the table he caught the landlady's stern glance, and she interrupted him with anger in her tones: “What do you mean, sir, by such questions? I'd you know that I am not accustomed to hear such uncalled-for criticism of my table and I won't have it. If you don't like the food, and if you can’t behave yourself, you can hunt another boarding-place and do it right away.” The complainer quailed under this rebuke and replied submis- WHAT THE NEW YORK POLICE INVESTIGATION HAS TAUGHT. "1 beg your pardon,ma‘am. Indeed Ido, 1 forgot forthe ees ee eS Tea tert Fifteen years’ service, jong enough they may be oment that I was away from home and thought I was talking to ice, one stripe. three:stripes: all stripes. my wife. It sha’n't occur again.” WILLIAM Ry siviTER, OVERDID HIS PART. * Why did you put that pin in my chair?” * Boo-hoo! How do yer know / put it dere?” * Because you were the only boy in the room who was hard at work studying when I sat on it.” comicbooks.com