Judge, 1894-06-30 · page 5 of 17
Judge — June 30, 1894 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from the satirical magazine **Judge** contains multiple brief comedic pieces typical of 1880s-90s humor: **"Tact"** mocks absent-minded husbands who forget their wives' errands, relying on guessing rather than admitting confusion. **"The Plaint of the Summer Girl"** satirizes the romantic poetry cliché of rural swains, with a frustrated woman unable to find the idealized rustic lover poets celebrate. **"The Colored Lightning Short-Stop"** references baseball, likely joking about either a Black player or the Giants baseball team's reserve pitcher studying "the curves" of cable-cars—an absurdist non sequitur. **"What Little Freddy Said"** presents childish logic: a fish needn't use hooks if living underground instead of water. **"Would Draw the Trade"** mocks a tea-store owner's misguided business plan: selling chromos (cheap color prints) rather than tea. **Other sketches** include physical comedy about slipping, observations about identifying girls by inside-out shirts, and workplace humor about demanding raises. The humor is gentle domestic and workplace satire typical of the era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
TACT. No, no, kind reader; this is not a broker on the verge of bankruptcy, nor yet a criminal about to meet his doom. It is a simple Christian gentleman striving to recollect whether the string which his wife tied to his little finger that morning stands for Valencia lace, sardines, or a copy of the current Jubce. What will he do? Why; decide upon the JupGx, of course ; and then, if he is wrong, he will be forgiven anyway, JUDGE THE PLAINT OF THE SUMMER GIRL. «6 REMOTE from cities lived a swain,” “The poet sweetly sings (confound him !). I've scoured each sylvan glade and plain And hill and shore—alas! in vain. He's so remote I haven't found him. JUDGMENTS. ALTH is arffexacting master. Any act is meritorious that is fit. He who would convince must be- lieve. ‘There is no remedy for an injury but to forget. Only a very superior man may be habitually unceremonious. He who can rise to a situation has the world at an advantage. Knowledge is the only possession that man cannot wrest from man, Some people expect to win divine favor solely by fostering the uncom- fortable. Many people have good manners that they carry about with them but do not use. For getting the best of a man in any business transaction there is no- body like a good, old-fashioned, honest, up-country farmer. sapatine onvis. BUT THEY DIDN'T SIT LON: THE COLORED LIGHTNING SHORT-STOP. “Certainly !* TO USE IN HIS BUSINESS. + €YV/HO is that man who comes down to Union square every morning to watch the cable-cars?” “That's a reserve pitcher of the Giants and he’s studying the curves,” WHAT LITTLE FREDDY SAID, [F Lwere a fish T would wiser be. I'd live in the ground instead of the sea; Then I needn't look When a bite I took, But have plenty of worms without any hook. WOULD DRAW THE TRADE. SOYVHAT makes you think you Ww are going to aeiwelwienia tea-store down in this out-of-the-way street?” “Why, man, I've got the finest Fi line of chromos in the city.” —Blame dat slipp'ry groun'!— PROOF OF IT. CROSS the rising wave there blows The cooling summer breeze, And on the sand the city girl Is sitting at her ease. We know she is a girl because, Although her dress leaves doubt Upon this point, her colored shirt She's wearing inside out. UNCONQUERABLE, *¢CHARLES has an unconquer able spirit.”” * How doe: he show it?’ “ He was two hours unlocking the front door early this morning. HE WAS BOUNCED. “Did yer git de raise yer SECOND OFFICE-Boy—"" No; but I got de raise I didn’t ask fer.” —ut anyhow !” comicbooks.com