Judge, 1894-05-19 · page 6 of 16
Judge — May 19, 1894 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple brief satirical sketches mocking 1890s American society: **"Feminine Logic"** ridicules women's hypocrisy—two women criticize a woman involved in a scandalous breach-of-promise lawsuit as someone "people would be ashamed to notice," yet eagerly rush to see her anyway. **"The Mean Hired Man"** is a rural dialect poem about a farmhand named Jim who steals fish but later drowns in the creek—the joke being the farmer's ironic concern is only for the lost fish. **"Not a Matter of Choice"** uses racist language to joke about a Black woman marrying a white man "down south" because so many Black men are being killed. It's extremely offensive period commentary on racial violence. **"A Bibliophile"** plays on the word "intellectual"—a man claims he only feels comfortable "ensconced in his library," but his library is actually a folding bed disguised as a bookcase. The other sketches use similar pun-based humor typical of Judge's satirical style.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
FEMININE LOGIC. Brr—'* Who is that person who attracts so much attention, Madge ?* Mance—"* Why, that is the woman who figured in that vile breach-of-promise suit.” Bet It is?’ And to think how much attention she receives! { would think people would be ashamed to notice her. Let's hurry up, Madge. I would dearly love to see what she looks like."” THE MEAN HIRED MAN. | KNOW a hired man, name of Jim, What you s'pose he’s up to then? Works on Deacon Dibble’s place, Suckers! Jest sets on the sand An’ if E was mean as him An’ yanks them juicy fellers out I'd never want to show my face. So fast they seem to fill the air, Back he comes there every spring, An’ if a boy is seen about Sure an’ reg'lar, ‘bout as quick He swears an’ drives him ‘way from there. As rebins first begin to sing ; But now we've got the cinch on Jim— its there jest the time the crick He tumbled in an’ then took sick. Starts a-roarin’ down the glen Of course pneumony 's tough on Ain; ‘An’ tearin’ up the deacon’s land. But, gee! the suckers in that erick! NOT A MATTER OF CHOICE. Mr. Brownstone (vo former servant)—* So | hear you have married a white man down south, Lucinda.’ Lucinda—" Yes, sah. Yo! see, yo’ all's killin’ off so many cullud men down dah dat we's fohced to.” AN INADVERTENCE, White (admiring the new cut of Miss Spinster’s waist)—" Well, I must say, Miss Spinster, that I can’t help admiring your last wrinkle. Miss Spinster— Sit!" And White never really under- HORSE-SWaP. stood why her teas lacked his attend- ~ Wanter swap hossis this mornin’?” ance thereafter. 8 Jones—" Ves. I'll swap my gray mare, ten bar'l o' cider an’ a hay- rake fer yer roan colt, a Syracuse plow, four bags 0’ oats an’ five dollars ter boot.” Deacon Brows—" Wacal, no; but if yer raly wanter swap hossis I'll swap my black gelding, a harrer, ten bushel o° seed.'taters an’ a bull-calf fer yer gray mare, a syrup-kittle two scythes, a crow- bar, a grindstone an’ two dollars an’ fifty cents ter boot, an’ not a cent less.” A BIBLIOPHILE. E'S very intellectual and litera isn’t he?” * Why do you think so?” “He told me he never felt like himself till he was snugly ensconced in his library.” “Well, you see his folding-bed is y CARTAGE IN AFRICA, a book-case. * Je-e-rusalem !" comicbooks.com