Judge, 1894-05-05 · page 5 of 20
Judge — May 5, 1894 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Top Cartoon: "Getting the Agony Over"** A dialogue joke about horse racing. Brown and Jones discuss a man with a "simple and effective system" for betting—he wagered everything on the first race, lost, and went home "disgusted." The satire mocks both compulsive gambling and the false confidence of amateur bettors who mistake recklessness for strategy. **"When the Apple Blooms"** A sentimental poem celebrating spring's renewal and its effect on reconciling married couples. The lengthy verse contrasts with other page content, appearing to be filler material common in 19th-century magazines. **Bottom Sections** Several brief sketches: "Awful Effects of Drink" (a man swears off alcohol after a woman reminds him of a drunken proposal), "His Grammar" (satirizing poor English usage), "Bicycling in Africa" (small illustrations of cyclists), and "Getting Ready" (presumably about preparations for courtship). The page represents typical Judge content: topical humor, class-conscious satire, and sentimental verse mixed with domestic comedy and moral messaging about drinking and propriety.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Z, WE ppd, x i es OEE LIL Gree Ly) Cage a, « PIE AGONY OVER. Brows =" T understand ot a simple and effective system of betting on the races.” Joxrs—" Ves. He always bets all he s got on the first race.” Brows nd then 2" Joxes —"* Then he goes home—disgusted.” WHEN THE APPLE BLOOMS. erness and the solitary place shall b cjoice even with joy and singing. abundat WIEN tie apples full of blossoms and the blossoms full of bees, And the bees ’s full of honey, buzzin’ up and down the breeze | When the flavor of the lilacs and the 3 Mixes with the johnny-jump-ups bloomin’ by Oh, it’s then you want to git up soon and wash and comb your hair, While the early birds go singin’ round about you everywhere, And the leaves of life unfold again as fresh as sproutin’ peas, When the apple ‘s full of blossoms and the blossoms full of bees. ‘There ‘s a softenin’ of the feelin’s kind o' kin to love, perhaps, Steals acrost you when you see the buds peel off their winter wraps, And the ba'my breath of mornin’, makin’ sparkles in the dew With the risin’ sun a creepin’ up the sky so bright and blue, Melts the icicles ‘at time has froze acrost your clouded life Till you think about your sweetheart and you go and kiss your wife ; For it's then 's about the time o” year yerself and her agrees. When the apple ‘s full of blossoms and the blossoms full of bees. Everything 's so glad and happy you just want to laugh outright, For your worries, like the snow, has melted plumb clean oat of sight, And the warble of the bluebird in the sky so fur above, And the pleasant coo and gurgle of the pigeon and the dove, And the very wind ‘at fans your face with kisses seems to s: * Rest yourself a little, old man, heaven hain't so fur aw, ‘Take a day off and go for the 's mighty few like these, When the apple 's full of blossoms and the blossoms full of bee: AWFUL EFFECTS OF DRINK. Sue (an ancicnt-looking old girl)—"* Have you forgotten, George, th proposed to me last night? Gronce—" That settles it, I'll never take a drink again.” 277 = deny HELE HIS GRAMMAR. Proprictor (io ollive= BICYCLING IN AFRICA, A CONVENIENT BRIDGE, you for Office: I brang it Proprietor Office bo. then, | brung Proprictor —" Where your authority for murdering English in that beastly style im visions of the time when he wrest led with the moods and tenses) —" Bring, beng. brung.” ly beggars who're med, So mucit does . Are those who, by their con. GETTING READY. Clara — "9 W iss Chel- s to be utterly destitute of heart. Hardfact —"\ really can't give you any mation about it. Why don't you ask her family comicbooks.com