Judge — May 5, 1894 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

W. J. Anwes Brennan Gran. 1. M. Garcoey, Editor. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS UNETRD STATES AND CANADA IN ADVANCE One copy, one vear, or s2 numbers - $s.0c One copy. six months, or 26 numbers - 250 One copy. forty weeks ss tae Tncluding the Cwurstias Juoce UBSCRIPTIONS. $6.0 year THe JuDGr PUBLISHING COMPANY (JuDGE BUILDING) Cor, Fifth Ave, and 16th Street, New York FORE: on OR We guarantor advertisers cat Sager pe reer civeulation than any other American satire: ery Lane, EC NOTICE, TO PUBLISHERS.—The contents of Juncn are protected by copy. im both the United States and Great Britain. Infringement of this copyright will be promptly and vigorously prosecuted, SINCE THE SOUT got him the president kicks only with his mouth. NO MAN can deny that he is a theosophist because no man knows what that ILLMAN MUST SUFFER from his enforced silence to such an extent as to suggest the worm of the still. OHUN GATES of Flushing, who recently killed himself because of the death of his horse, must have been considerably ILL’S TARIFF SPEECH in brief —" 1 want to be the next Democratic ¢ candidate for president even if I do get licked.” ASTER ALL, why give sympathy to a woman who needlessly publishes her own shame out of de- sire for worthless WASHINGTON has remedies for all ills, There isa man enge? with measles. Why doesn’t he march on Washington too? THIRTEEN kinds THERE AR TRAINING. of tariff’ Democrat, and not a kind cai tell what it bel is likely to believe in day Asicus—" Wi ves in of Mec. 0. Mu fter tor It is intended to develop the muscles of Jersey without getting stuck in the gud morrow ERHAPS this is a good time to inquire how much Hill has been over- whelmed and belitsled by the dignity and wisdom of the senate- nber. cha E TRUST the bui'd their business. In the interior-department building every night Hoke Smith is learning to dance. SENATOR HILL forgets that J n party a year ago. “Tam as good g inspectors of Washington are attending to Gresham repudiated the Repub- blank Democrat as any- body “—those were his very words. CIPHER has disclosed to a western Shakespearean student the alleged fact that William was killed by Francis Bacon; but I. Donnelly says his killing of the ard is just as sweet for all that HEH tobacco and beer: but for the present the suit of mail sent him by ZALTH of Bismarck is improved so that he nas resumed his the emperor must be worn by one of the hired men. THE gest the same crit MYSTERY as to Hamlet, according to a woman critic, is that steude didn't spa k him enough when he was a boy. Let us sug- sm as to the mystery of Gertrude and her mother. have you fastened those iron blocks to your feet 7” ‘ex—"'T am practicing the suburban resident's exercise WOMAN. THEIR MAJESTIES. HE EMBRACING of Humbert and the kaiser was very pathetic. “Look out, Billy.” said his majesty of Italy, “and don’t tech the boil ‘on the back of my neck.” “Very well, my boy,” said the kaiser cordially ; “and see to it, I pray you, that none of your soldiers shoot off a gun at the back of mine.” ‘Then the bands played and nothing occurred to mar either of them, : DAVID'S MOTIVES. HERE IS NO KIND of tariff bill that Hill would indorse unless he were permitted to dictate its main features and get the notoriety aris- ing from that fact. His first idea is to oppose the administration and his next to glorify himself, But he is doing a good work for the country in spite of himself, and if he shall succeed in keeping the McKinley law on the books he will have the gratitude of the country almost as much as if he deserved it THE RAGGED REGIMENTS. GENERAL FRYE would be a dictator if he knew how, having mo regard whatever for the rights of private ownership. Coxey pro- fesses different things, but his idea runs rapidly to the rights and riots of the commune. It is a mighty free country that allows these men and their tatterdemalions to overrun the highways and devastate hen-roosts y one of then to soak his head J railroads. The law should oblige eve! ima pint cup. THE WORLD ON WHEELS HIS IS THE ERA of the bicycle. Half the world is on wheels, and the other half will presently get there. Now is every man his railroad, and now every man fur- wn nishes his own propulsive power, lifted himself by his own boot-straps. like the child of the fable whi There be steeds that neither eat nor drink, yet Bucephalus in all his glory could not go as fast or as far as they. Shall we presently fly? Why fly? Surely we are going fast enough now. WORKERS AS TAX- PAYERS. HERE IS NOT al weuld not visit his income-tax ndiord who ‘on the men who occupy his houses not an cle necessary to life or comfort whose price would not be advanced by it; not a man of mod- erate or large fortune who would not draw upon those below him to pay bis extra duties under such a law, The problem is, not how to put a heavier load on the backs of men and women who work, but how to relieve them of a portion of that they already unjustly bear, THAT CONFIDING 1¢ legs so that one can walk about in J. MAY YOUE is not a shrinking sensitive little thing, but she does indignantly deny the story that she is married to Lord Hope. It is to be feared, however, that she can't prove it. Still, if she ever does become duchess of Newcastle she won't suffer much from the snubs that may be inflicted on her, for th nobody can snub better than she. She has learned the art as a part of her profession, though perhaps she is more pleasing in the display of her profuse affections, OUR IRISH KINGS. JOHN PAUL BOCOCK shows by:a striking array of facts and figures that the Irish rule in all our large cities. We have suspected this, It . however, that the native-born outnumber the Irish by large majorities, and if they won't take care of themselves they have only them- selves to blame. Perhaps the is just as tru are less unscrupulous and less “smart but that is a confession of helplessness—the only confession they have, however—th; is as bad as pleading the baby act. MRS. LEASE AS A HUMBUG. masonic order for women, and RS. LEAS! will have it precisely like the masonic order for men. Of course that = proposes to organizs is impossible from several points of view, the chief point being that women wouldn't be masons if they this truly able and somewhat voluble womart with ald; and for that reason we must charge s weak a desire for cheap notoriety as ever characterized the governors of Oregon and South Carolina. In other words, Mary Ellen, where is thy blush? comicbooks.com y | |