Judge — April 28, 1894 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A WIDE DIFFERENCE. . WHAT is the difference between this coffee and my grand- father?" said the star boarder as he stirred the sugar in his cup. “Tm sure I can never guess,” smiled the landlady. “ Grandfather was one of the early settlers.” © BY PHOTOGRAPH. HE BOUGHT a horse by photograph, And, swindled, on him was the laugh. * L was to blame,” said he, *‘ of course, To get the carte before the horse.” HIS FEARS. Prisoner—* What does the judge say about my case?” Lawyer—" He's non-committal.” Prisoner —"Well, I'm glad of that. Iwas afraid he would give me seven years, SALVATION EXTRAORDINARY. Evangelist (as another sinner rises) —"And what has the Lord done for this good brother?” inner—" He has saved me from a drunkard’s grave for over three weeks.” “A SUNRISE ON THE FARM." JUDGE TWO DEDUC TIONS, ++ BARKER is a dull fellow. He never opens his mouth.” “T should say that was a sign of wisdom. He never puts his foot in it.” POWERFULLY AF- FECTED. Pete— Whar's Uncle "Rastus ?” Chloe—"Yo' Uncle "Rastus am clean gone crazy, chile.” Pete—* Whufor, Aunt Chloe?” Chloe —"He went down t' de city see de chicken-show an’ de fowl air was too much fo’ him, chile.” Bobby (just from school) — Mamma, I've got through the promise cue-us examples an’ I'm into fractures. Barber—" Try dere too.” WHY HE COULDN'T WIN, Mrs. Poker — ‘Say, yo’ niggah, yo" was down t' Deacon Jones's las’ night an’ lost one dollar an’ seben do yo" s'pose T kin w dey open a fresh pack ob kyards ebery time an ace is missin’? WARNING TO BE HEEDED. +e YOU are not putting money in a letter, are you?" “Why, of course. Why not “Didn't you see that sign as we came along— *Post no bills’?* A DRAWBACK, Parcurp Perers—' Does yer know enny place where a poor feller widout money kin git a haif-cut an’ a shave?” g Sing. PatcueD Peters—I would, but dey makes yer take a bath up A DIFFICULT ROLE. CeLJARLEY, the great tragedian, has asked me to be one of his support in * King Lear." “Which of the characters will you impersonate—Tray, Blanche, or Sweet- heart?" THEN AND NOW. OED bat, what fancies 1 could brew Beneath your crown when you were new! What jolly thoughts to greet me ran When you were glossy, spick and span! The times, like you, have changed, old hat; hard to tell just where we're at. Tonly know it seems so queer To wear the clothes I wore last year. INTERESTED IN HIM. Miss Fosdick- ell me all you know about that Mr. Richard you in- troduced to me.” Miss Gaskett —“ Mr. Richard? Ob, you mean that tall young man with a black mustac! Miss Fosdick- _ Miss Gaskett—" His name isn’t Richard. It is Dickey.” Miss Fosdick—" But you see 1am not well enough acquainted with him yet to call him Dickey.” A BASE-BALL 1 “A picked nine." comicbooks.com