Judge, 1894-04-28 · page 4 of 18
Judge — April 28, 1894 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical vignettes typical of late-19th-century American humor: **"Merely a Crank"** mocks mental illness diagnoses, suggesting doctors' pseudoscientific claims about brain matter are absurd. **"Absent-Minded"** is a simple children's joke about a boy forgetting to close his mouth after shouting. **"The Snake Next"** satirizes fashionable London society women who adopt exotic pets (monkeys, dogs, babies in sequence), predicting snakes will become the next fad. **"She Has a Prior Claim"** depicts Irish working-class marital dynamics—a wife threatening her striker-husband with violence, claiming her "union" (marriage) predates his labor union. **"His Line of Business"** jokes about a tramp coloring meerschaum pipes (decorative tobacco pipes) as his "profession." The remaining vignettes mock domestic economics, haggling vendors, and marital complaints about wives' spending and appearance—standard Victorian-era satirical targets.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
262 JUDGE MERELY A CRANK. S*D)ID the doctors _pro- nounce Smythe in- sane They examined some of his gray matter under a microscope and found that he had only a few wheels.” ABSENT-MINDED. Mamma —" Ned, what are you standing here in the street with your mouth wide open for?” Ned—"1 was hollerin’ ‘Stump! an’ I forgot to shut it.” A WAIST OF GOOD MATERIAL, THE SNAKE NEXT. SOME LADIES of London are making pets of monkeys, the period of dogs and babies, as one authority puts it, having gone by. The snake needn't despair, He will be a pet yet. SHE HAS A PRIOR CLAIM. Mrs, FLANNIGAN — “What be yez cumin’ home so airly in the day fur, The union has declared a sthroike.” MkS. FLANNIGAN — "* Declared a sthroike, has it? Vez jined a union wid me befoor dis other wan ; an’ Oi declares thot if yez don’t git back to yer job i'll baste the hoide aff av yez." HIS LINE OF BUSINESS. SSYVHY don’t 1 go to work, mum ?* Cranberry’s question. “I'd only t to do in me own line of business.” “What might that be?” asked the sympathetic woman “Colorin’ meerschaums, mum,” the tramp, repeating Mrs. too happy, if could get somethi GREAT SCHEME OF OLD CURMUDGEON! AN OVER-ESTIMATE. Business MAN low, what do you want? My time is worth a dollar a minute.” TsaacstEIN (the feddler)—"*Ach! you god stuck, mister. Led me show you a bedder von fer ‘‘irty-fife tollar.”” THE EXACT FIGURES. Husband (angrily) —* I tell you I can’t pay these bills. Here is a hat that cost seventy-five dollars alone. It is monstrous !" Wofe (tearfully) —"* Well, 1 am sure I am as economical as I can be. That hat would have cost me eighty dollars if I had not found my own material, which Madame Skinem was kind enough to make up for me.” Husband — And what did the material cost you ?” Wife (triumphantly)—" Only about twenty dollars. I figured it over every way so I could be sure it was right.” AS FAR AS IT WENT. Wife (at party)—" That décolleté waist of Mrs, Shapely fits her per- fectly, doesn’t it?” Husband (looking intently)—" It would if there were enough of it.” comicbooks.com