Judge — April 7, 1894 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CAUGHT HERSELF, suppose you will not believe me, dear Laura; you are my first love.” a—"" Yes, I'believe you, Edward. ‘I found it out when you gave me the JUDGMENTS. [TJS better to be lonely than bored. No good work is ever done in a hurry, Nature never hurries. Sewing is a lazy woman's work and a smart woman's play. Most people can get “daily brea butter that bothers them. Charity begins at home and stops there a long while, but does not always die there. Love our enemies indeed! when it is as much as most of us can do to love our friends. ake the mistake of pitying your friend in hard luck ; he is sure to balk. MADRLINE OnvIS THE IDLER IN GREENWOOD. SOWHY, this monument over young Grigsby has been injured.” “Oh, no; that was the sculptor’s idea—a broken shaft, you know.” “Ah, now I remember. Got his spinal column broken by a flying wedge, didn’t he?” it's the ** Jobn, Mr. Fox—“* Well, Ann,” THE WAY OF THE WORLD. SES,” said Mrs. Fiveoclock, “the family are most interesting. John dances divinely, Tom sings like an angel, David is a famous foot- ball player, and Susanne paints beautifully and belongs to the reading-club.” “And Henry?” “Oh, Henry! Well, he's rather dull, you know. only works and supports the others.” He THE MILLENNIUM. 6 6MY DEAR," M nestness, idea will succeed ?” “Just as soon,” he replied sweetly, “as two of the dress-reform suits are alike.” he asked with a certain degree of ear- when do you think this dress-reform SOCIETY. F YOU'LL read me for a moment I will give a recipe That will take you from the poor-house Into swim society. ‘There is one thing that’s imperative, ‘As I would have you know, ‘That is dough. Get the dough ; if you aspire To the fly four hundred: Then Nobody will inquire Of you how, or where, or when, Society will ask you— ‘And she has a right to know— Where's your dough? (} PRESTO, CHANGE! Jonrsey—'* Say, Brownie, can you let me have two”: Brownie (hastily interrupt. If yon fail to find your pay-streak ing)—"'L haven't a blamed cent, ‘And you jump your neighbor's claim, Or in stocks you rob your neighbor, ‘The end is just the same. Society will ask you What you own, not what you owe. Get the dough. esey. JoNEsey —‘Two fives for a ten Brownie (Acartily)—"* Certain- ly, old fellow! With pleasure.” cy WaRMAN, PLAYING FOR SAFETY. why do you call that pretty typewriter of yours Mary Ann? You told me her you see, I have a bad habit of speaking in my sleep, and my wife's name is Mary HIS PHILOSOPHIC CONCLUSION. PROFESSOR BROWN said, * When I married, I married the youngest of eleven children, I hadn't been married an hour before I found that in order to get along with any sort of tranquillity, harmony or peace one of us would have to give in. I hadn't been married two hours before I found it was I.” It did not shorten his days; he is over eighty. TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE. Fanny—" You take Dick Foster too seriously. Noth- ing he says is worth a moment's consideration.” + Nanny— But he insinuated that I was one of the mushfoom aristocracy.” Fanny—" Humph ! he hasn't sense enough to tell a mushroom from a toad-stool.” 3 THE HAT AND THE HAIR; OR, HOW MR. JONES WAS SOLD. comicbooks.com