Judge — March 31, 1894 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE AUTHOR, HIS REASON. 6 6YJHY do you WwW sit so far back in church?” asked the Rev. Mr. Thirdly of Gil- gal. “Oh, you know,” replied Gilgal, “ that distance lends en- chantment to the pew.” WHat the thief said when he was shot in the back during a sprint— “We get it as we go along.” WouLp-1 a novel, is it Famous NoveList—“* Not at all. this way. AUTHOR—" It's not very bard to write You ‘see, it’s First comes the smoking era, which covers . You do nothing but smoke cigars and +4 JABUS is go- ing to sue that life- insurance company for four thousand dollars.” “Why so?” “Well, he was insured for twenty thousand dollars, and when he had his leg cut off he very properly held —Next comes the traveling era, which consumes say a year and a half, flitting here and there over the conti- nent, looking up odd scenes, characters, etc., ete. — JUDGE A PUZZLER. Mr, Justwep—* These eggs are a little too hard, dear.” Mrs, Justwep-"' Yes, dear John; I know it, But they boiled for more than an hour and yet they would not get soft.” ACQUAINTED WITH THE TERM. ++ DEAR me,” sighed Mr. Marrowfat, glancing over the report of a vote taken in the house of representatives, “ how many of these that one-fifth of him at least was in the grave.” NO EVIDENCE. 66] UNDERSTAND that the deceased was a man of very nervous disposition and given to petulance,” said the old lady to the undertaker. “I didn’t notice it, ma’am,” replied the undertaker, “I've been busy with him for the past forty-eight hours, and he showed no signs of petulance—but then most corpses is WELL BROKEN IN, Well, old man, now you've been married t do you think of wedded bliss?" * Why, old boy, I gave up thinking for myself Brow six months Jones somé five months ago.” congressmen are paired !” “Well, it’s high time they were,” returned his wife, “Such lives as Washington bachelors lead!" AN ITALIAN PROVERB. 'WO heavens—one here and one hereafter—wait Such lucky lords as choose aright their ladies, But they that choose amiss—oh, fearful fate !— A hell on earth, besides the future hades, mT re fi AND SHE BELIEVED HIM. Angelina—" That was a lovely engagement- ring you gave me last night, dear; but what do those initials, E. C., mean on the inside?” Edwin— Why—er—that is—don’t you know that’s the new way of stamping eighteen carats ?” —After this we naturally drift into the stud; era, comprising say two years and devoted to lool up books of reference, such as histories, philoso- Phies, geographies, bibles, etc. — ENOUGH JUST WHAT HE TO BEAR. WANTED. Ted—"Did Agent—" I'm selling anyone make mottoes appropriate for an April fool use in Wall street.” of Tom?” Broker —" How do Ned—" No they read ?” one that I Agent—"*You do know of, ex- the other fellow or he'll cept that girl . do you." ; —Then you just naturally get to work writing aa he married at your novel.” This seldom takes more than two years Broker —“V'il_ take Easter. working sixteen hours a day, and — two.” THE PROBLEM. + OYVHAT is this domestic problem that we hear so much about ?” “ The effort of a two-dollar-a-week girl to get a four-dollar-a-week place.” SHE WOULD DIE OF IT. OULD not Shakespeare have sug- gested a more pathetic sight to our fancy by representing Patience as sitting on a down-town restaurant chair at noon-hour instead of on a monu- ment? —there you are!" comichooks.com,