Judge, 1894-03-24 · page 5 of 16
Judge — March 24, 1894 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short humorous sketches typical of 1890s American satire: **"The Wife at Easter"** mocks upper-class women's materialism—wives claim Easter devotion masks their true motivation: acquiring expensive new bonnets (fashionable hats). **"Heraldic Ornithology vs. History"** jokes about fake aristocratic pedigree. A woman claims her family crest dates to the 9th century, but it depicts a turkey. Since turkeys weren't known in Europe until after Columbus discovered America (late 15th century), the crest is obviously false—making her "noble" lineage a "chestnut" (old joke). **Social climbing and class anxiety** appear throughout: children forbidden friendships because parents gained status; a shooting mishap blamed on lacking proper targets. **"Mr. Isaacs" sketches** feature a Yiddish-accented Jewish merchant character. These relied on ethnic stereotyping common to the era, portraying him as shrewd, comically malapropistic, and ultimately befuddled at a church fair—humor derived from his "outsider" status. The page primarily satirizes vanity, pretension, and social pretense among the American middle and upper classes.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
SEY" Bonny- THE WIFE AT EASTER. SHE pretends itis love, But it means a new bonnet. Why kind as a dove? She pretends it is love, But I am above All such guile and frown on it. She pretends it is love, But it means a new bonnet, Jastes Jay O'CONNELL. HERALDIC ORNITHOLOGY VERSUS HISTORY. Ske—"Don't you think with me that her- aldry has its use?’ He—"Yes, For instance, your crest, you say, dates from the ninth century?” She—"Nes.” He—"And it's a turkey's head issuing from a ducal coronet ?” He— Well, that shows that the discovery of America by Columbus was a chestnut.” (At the fair.) Miss Buyer— ‘How much for the table-cover 2” Mr. Isaacs—"'1'll gif it to you fur dot timont pin you haf und dree tollars pesides.”* VICE-VERSA. “* You mustn't play with those low Jones children any more, Bobby. Your papa 's an assemblyman now.” Why, mamma, Tom Jones said his mother told him not to recognize me any more because my papa is an assemblyman.”* THE HEIGHT OF HUMILIATION. THOUGIE Easter isthe time, they say, When woman is in clover, It is to her a sorry day Whose bonnet is made over. HIS AIM ALL RIGHT, Se YOU ought to have seen Bagley out shoot- ing with his revolver the other day. He couldn't hit a barn-door.” “Oh, Mr, Isaacs! ve vas goi der synegogue. Von't you hellep ad von obf der tables?” Mr. Isaacs—"* Vhy, obf gourse.” Mr. Booptzs—"'The standing-lamp is too much.” 5 Mr. Isaacs—‘* So hellep me kracious! Id gost me den dimes dot moneys.” “How did that happen? was a good shot.” _ Well, so he a barn-door to hit! I thought Bagley ; but, you see, there wasn’t CIRCUMSTANTIAL EVIDENCE. Willie—" Your father is going to church your mother, ain’t he?” How did you know that?” Wellie—" Well, if he wasn’t you'd never be digging bait on Saturday afternoon.” Mr. Isaacs—"* Vhat! den tollars fur dot peau- tiful dressing-case? Lort! eef I sell it fur dot der shteeple vill fall ohf der shurch," ISAACS HELPS AT THE CHURCH-FAIR AND FORGETS HIMSELF. comicbooks.com