Judge — March 17, 1894 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

170 FULFILLED. HER INTERPRETATION, He The girl whom I marry must be Suz — ‘Oh, George! This is so as beautiful as a dream.” sudden.” '* Law saiks, doan’ 1 wish I wuz a little white chile !— twenty-four hours—to see her, I say, permitting that grisly reptile to stray over her shoulder like a love-lock, or to sit on her wrist like a bad-imitation bracelet. For fear of being accused of a paltry jealousy of the donor, I have been obliged to dissemble somewhat regarding this new species of fireside companion. I might derive a small amount of satisfaction from having stepped on him one morning were it not for the fact that Twas in my bare feet. It only stunned the chameleon, but the sensation it gave me unhinged me for the day. Some one has named the chameleon Nebuchadnezzar, and as soon as spring arrives I shall be the one to send him to grass. I have been told that if a chameleon’s tail were broken he would die. Last tiie I noticed Neb changing his clothes I saw he didn’t change the tip of his tail, which remains apparently dead ; but Neb still lives. Thave settled into a dull, hopeless despondency about that odious little beast, for although he was once missing for twenty-four hours he was found in the folding-bed ; and having submitted innu- merable times to being locked in my room because the cha- meleon was out, and locked out of it because the chamele- on was in, I was gratified one day recently to learn that he was really lost. For a few days I breathed freely and my stomach recovered its usual tone. But one day the maid came into the room with a smile. She had been sweeping the stairs, and on the dust pan in a cocoon of fluff was the chameleon. 4. nartey sere. HIS SAURIAN HIGHNESS. ~ A BACHELOR friend who has _ been for many years envious of my domestic happiness has made our boy a present of a chameleon. The reptile arrived one morn- ing about a month ago in a perfo- rated pasteboard box which also contained his jewelry, consisting of — a ring, chain and pin, and a year's rations of sugar. TH The veritable old serpent him- self did not any more effectually up- - set the domestic economy of the garden of Eden than did this lizard upset our ménage. = ‘The cook gave instant warning. She seemed to have some kind of a cloudy idea that we were harboring an infant crocodile, and said to the house-maid that “ Saint Pathrick him- silf couldn't have charrumed a foor-legged shnake wid warts on him, that was Irish grane whin ye looked at him an’ wasn’t grane whin ye didn't.” Our pet cat had to be sacrificed for fear it would eat the chameleon. Through getting up at midnight to see if the chameleon was green and getting up again at five to see if it was brown our boy got the croup, and convalescing he took a look at his pet through his grandma’s reading-glass, passing a wretched night in conse- quence; said he “dreamed all night of being chased by an alligator.” A wealthy relative of. my wife from whom she has “ expectations,” and whois a trifle over-fond of Ken- tucky bourbon, caught unexpected sight of that ill-omened brute one evening, left the house without a 4 word of excuse, and next day wrote my wife a note saying “he found his health failing so rapidly that he had decided to go to Algiers.” wt oe Formerly, when our friends call- ed in of an evening we had cards and conversation, or music, and some light refreshments. Nowadays our visitors gather around the table on which the chameleon is placed (under a cheese-cover) and they handle and dandle and fondle this long-tailed horned toad, and exchange views on his habits and accomplishments until I am constrained to make some excuse to leave the house. Like the wicked queen in the fairy story, nothing but toads and lizards come out of their mouths ; and under the new régime precious little else goes in. Either fascination or an unacknowledged nausea, same as seasickness, seems to affect the appetite of family and guests; so they amuse themselves catching flies for the brute. But what hurts me the most is to see my fair young wife, she Weary Wore (irk a sigay — Whom I remember as screaming at sight of a caterpillar and fainting “My! Taschilly biieve La keg away at a garter-snake; who climbs on the table if any one says work in dere.” “mouse,” and who, if she sees a cockroach, can eat nothing for 2, ——Jis' wouldn't I strut 4. —and her wish was gratified, comicbooks.co