Judge — March 10, 1894 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

148 EVEN THE OLD MAN COULDN'T JUDGE THAT WAS NOT ENOUGH. . ‘| DON'T want you to leave me, mamma,” said little Frances after she was tucked up in bed. “T'll be in the next room, dear, and I'll leave the door ajar,” replied mamma. “Ajar isn’t enough. Leave it two or three jars.” THE DOCTOR'S DIAGNOSIS. Parker—* Did you hear of the excitement in our neighborhood last night? Doctor Bludsoe’s . prize mastiff caught a burglar and choked him to death.” Perkins —* What does the doctor say about it?” Parker—“He says he thinks the man died of the grip.” 1 WAYS OF TRADE. LADY who had evi- dently been young a few years since stepped into Gaut's the other day and asked the price of cream puffs. "Three cents each,” replied the maid in wait- ing. “Well, that’s a queer way of selling things!" re- marked the possible customer. She seemed to hesitate a minut companion, apparent! while he ate it, after pleased departure. TRYING then ordered one cream puff for a younger relative, and watched severely ich she took a silent and dis- TO SEEM PLAUSIBLE. Guest —" Say, boy, what's all this coil of ropes under this window for?" Hotel-boy —" Ob, that? ‘That's a burglar-escape, sir. When he tries to get down on it he breaks his neck, sir. A NEGLECTED OPPORTUNITY. Cora "It’s a wonder they haven't a statue of Pope in the park along with the other poets.” Merritt—* Rather a pity, | should say. They would no doubt © succeeded better in his case, as he was a hunchback.” + MONKEY - TALK wR oe HAT was the . Ww subject of Professo: Carner’s harangue last night?” “Oh, the harangue- outang, of course.” MISDIRECTED. Spinster — “ You have a woman's corner, I believe?” Editor—" Yes, ma’am ; the woman scorner is in the second room to the left.” RATHER TOUGH. Gummey —* There is nothing thin-skinned about Bloobumper.” Glanders—“\ should say not. Dr. Paresis vaccinated him the other day and told me that the operation took the edge off his in- strument.”” IN THE INTELLIGENCE -OFFICE. Lady (to prospective cook) —** Very well then; you may consider yourself engaged, and may come y of next week.” Cook —" Well, if ye plaze, mum, ye may say to yer cook thet is thet O/'ll be comin’ up fur a few noights befoorhan’ in arder t’ git used t' th’ bid, fur whiniver I shlape in a strange bid Oi can't sblape a wink.” CAUSE Miss Wantoxo singular name for YouxG PokeruN —"* Well, you see, Miss Wantono, I had to call him that because he is such a growler.” AND EFFECT, So you call your dog Rush. Isn't that a HOW HE FOUND HIS HOME. PROMINENT CITIZEN (much the worse for liquor) —" V'Il lives right there in that brown-stone house.” PRomiNent crtizen—" Thanks that was about where I lived myself.” A DISAPPOINTING QUESTION. Ss\AISS MUNN,” said young Mr. Goslin tenderly. “I dweamed of you lawst deep interest. HIS FIRST CASE. Wife —“Vama I bet yer a quarter I can, He T thought replied Miss Munn with Was my hat on straight?” aid Jack is threatened with “the fever, John. Don’t you think we can break it up?” Doctor John —" Not by any means! Would you have me lose my chance of studying the case?" A, YOUNG lady whose * face is swollen to twice its usual size through cutting her wis- dom teeth writes that in her case “igno- rance is comicbooks.com