Judge — March 3, 1894 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

134 JUDGE A NATURAL MISTAKE. IT WAS THE PUP THAT CHASED HIM. SCRIPTURAL, I KNOW more of the ark’s construc- tion Than ever I did before. I'm told that the ark was a row-boat Because ‘twas propelled by a Noah. (NS r \ \\ THE GOOD LITTLE BOY. ALFRED had been unusually trying that day, evidently wish- ing to see to how fine a thread he could draw his mother's patience without breaking it. His experi- me ment finally threatened to end in 2 Aid Wie T- disaster when he arrested her re- arate _— bukes with a calm, impen- etrable look. “ Be care- ful,” he said mildly, his rosy aeeek POTENT STRAINS, never dim- | PROFESSOR Fanos (disgusted) —" Say, Crawley, if yer don't A take ‘St. Patrick's Day" outer yer pianist's repertory I'll t'row up pling ora re job. Every time de snakes hears dat I can't coax er drag ‘em muscle of his Outer de box.” DIVESTURE. DARKEY who evidently had a slight knowledge of American history was looking at a picture of Cornwallis surrender- ing to Washington in an art-gallery and showed his artistic in- difference by a con- temptuous sniff. “Gen Co'nwal- lis!’ He no Gen'l Co’nwallis. He Gen'l Cobwallis. Gen’l Washinton dun shot all de co'n off. Nuffin’ but de cob left.” i piey face twitching ; be careful. I read a lovely story this morning about a dear little boy who died from his mother fretting at him.” And the poor woman is still wondering whether she has in her family an infant satirist or a misused saint. IT’S AN ILL WIND, ETC. Primus—" Dalton’s sight has become strangely af- fected, poor fellow! He sees everything double.” Secundus— By Jove! I'm glad you mentioned it. I owé him ten dollars and I'll tender him this five.” HARD LUCK. Twickenham —"\ didn’t sleep in. my house last night Witherly—* What was the trouble?" 'wickenham—" It seems my wife for- got to lock the front door, and when I came home ! locked myself out.” OUTCLASSED. Miss Fosdick —"1 thought you told me you intended to marry Dick Gildersteeve.” Miss Keedick (ruetully)—" But 1 didn’t know that a widow had set her cap for him too.” FORGOT i HIMSELF, ad Dashaway— “ My room-mate is the most ab- sent-minded fel- low I ever saw Clever ton— “In what way?” Dashaway— “1 caught him ; ier the other day wearing one of his own shirts,” al HIS TITLE. 4 6VYOU'RE acol- onel, you say, in the army? “Pardon me— regular or tion?" “Neitner, Are my of the unem- ployed.” ow lan nee SPECKLED BEAUTY. : Lady caller (to enfant terrible, who is playing in the parlor)—" You don’t know who I am.” Enfant terrible—“Nes, 1 do. Mamma calls you Miss Trout.” Lady caller—* Miss Trout?” Enfant terrible—" Ves, Trout 's all covered with freckles, ain't they ?” TRULY FEMININE. COULDN'T SEE IT. “What are you crying for, little girl?” Stranger (in Washington)— —"Oh, sir! Iwas thinkin’ that s'posen when I “What is the distinguishing sign of a grow up an’ get married an’ have a baby the nurse should leave him — congressman ?” for a moment an’ he should crawl into the oven an’ the cook shouldn't 5 ale 5 A see him an’ should shut the oven-door an’ build a fire an’ my poor Resident—*Poker-chip in the ae" baby should be roasted to death, Boo-hoo-hoo !" trousers pocket.” 6 comicbooks.com