Judge — March 3, 1894 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE SET BACK. AA WERE you ever in WA love?” asked the young man with the scented mustache of the bald-headed stran- ger with whom he-was playing set-back in the smoker. “Was I ever in love?” mused he of the sheeny pate, examining his cards and trying to © remember whether the torn card in his oppo- NR Ri ce Ry GREAT OLD TIMES, eight of clubs or the ten Re ON Scrioon TEACHER — “* Now, about what time did Bozsy —**About two thousand B. C.” SUNDAY-SCHOOL TEACHER — ** Quite right; and what does B.C mean?" Bossy—"' I guess it means Before Cleveland, ‘cause dad said them was great old times.” of diamonds. * Was 1 ever in love ?—hum— well, I'm sure I don’t know.” TOO DANGEROUS. Tue poy —‘ What'll yer gib_ me, Uncle Peter, ter hoid yer hoss fer yer?” Uncur’ Perer— “I'll gib yer er whack in der jaw. Yer rapscallion, yo” tink I’se gwine ter trust er fiery animal like dis yere Hoss wid yo'?” ASSUMING THE MORTGAGE. ROM out the land of Mrs. Lease A man with mortgaged farm Strolled into the metropolis And pushed the fire-alarm. He wandered down the Bowery street And met a maiden there ; A maiden with Chicago feet And pyrotechnic hair. ‘She had a Sandow voice, and still, Alas! she loved to talk. She had a heavy sort of Lil- Tuokalani walk. She sang and danced, kicked up her heels, And funny things she said ; And with her wiles put many wheels In Reuben Ransom's head. She decked herself-in garments gay ‘The hayseed for to charm, As with her wiles she made a play For Reuben Ransom's farm. She went away his wife to be. Alas! she little knew, “Why !" cried the youth vehemently, “ if you ever had been you'd know it; You'd know it! You see, it's this way; when you're in love you've simply got to have the girl any way. You can’t =a AF AT THE DEADGULCH WEDDING. live without her. You think of her by day, dream of her by night, live for her alone. ‘She is the’ —— “Say, were you ever married?” interrupted the elder savagely. “No, sir; but”. “Well, if you ever had been you'd know it. You'd know it! You see, it’s this way "—— But the young man had fled, leav- ing a faint odor of crushed violets be- hind him, THAT WOULD NEVER DO. Cawker—“ There is one great ob- jection to electing women to congress, as it is proposed to do in some western states.” Gazzam — “What is the objec- tion ?” Cawker —“\t would not do for them to pair with the married mascu- line members.” , WELL LOCATED. Guest of the house the nearest post-box, Selina?” Colored servant ain't no- whar’s at all, miss— jes’ right out in front ob de house.’ Where is Parson Ropem (after the ceremony)—"* Now, if any of you ducks has got any shootin’ to do you'll do it right now before you kiss the bride, or forever hold yer pieces.” When she assumed a husband she Assumed the mortgage too. cy WARMAN. A METAMORPHOSIS, Soreroor Wittiam— ‘What yer stoppin’ fer? ‘Tain’t nothin’ but an old dress.” James—**'Tain't? I'll show yer. Put that on, — —Step right up, ladies and gents. Only twenty-five cents to see de greatest wonder in de world,”” —Bearded lady. See ?— comicbooks.com