Judge, 1894-02-24 · page 3 of 16
Judge — February 24, 1894 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains several brief humorous sketches rather than unified political commentary. "HE UNDERSTOOD" depicts an office scene where Mr. Cidman instructs an employee William about delivering flowers and obtaining tickets, with a winking implication about romantic intentions. "EVERYBODY HAPPY" shows a funeral director satisfied with arrangements—the joke being undertakers profit from death. "EASING HIS CONSCIENCE" presents a dialogue about someone's moral dilemma regarding gambling winnings. The remaining sketches—"THE DIFFERENCE," "BOBBY GOES TO SCHOOL," "LUCKY," and others—are domestic or workplace comedies without apparent political meaning. They target relatable situations: parental discipline, workplace tardiness, and restaurant absurdities. No clear political figures or events are referenced. This appears to be a typical *Judge* humor page focused on social satire of everyday American life rather than current events commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HE UNDERSTOOD. “Here, William,” said Mr. Citiman briskly as he entered his office, ‘‘ take this bunch of flowers in to Miss —, and here's a ticket for the foot-ball match this afternoon for yourself, and tell M: WitiiaM (breaking in)—'* Is it a boy or a girl, sir?” EVERYBODY HAPPY. FUNERAL - DIRECTOR was heard to express his gratification over a recent piece of work in his line in this manner: “Yes, the corpse was laid out lovely, the pall-bearers’ gloves were a perfect fit, the hearse was tiptop in style, the carriages were new and clean, the horses were well groomed, the were neat as could be, and T the mourners were mightily drive please¢ EASING HIS CONSCIENCE. Ted —* How did he come out of his dilemma in regard to those two girls?” Ned— He decided to love the poor one and marry the rich one.” IN SPITE OF ALL. Mrs, Ketcnum—' Lordy mussy, man t Il tore up de back. Didn’ dat bone out ob a brack cat's tail maik ¥ ibul 2” Mr. Ketcnum—" Dunno, honey, dunno ; but I ‘spicion dat Jedge Hennery had a brack-cat bone ‘roun” his cloes somewheres. fur he wuz clean invisibul to me till I got bofe barrills ob bird-shot right into my eperdermus.”” * ratchquill that he can have the holiday we were talking about whenever he wants it, and "— THE DIFFERENCE. Pater—"You are very forward, sir. In my day the young man waited until he was asked to ca Young man—Ves, and now he waits until he’s asked not to call.” BOBBY GOES TO SCHOOL. *4(T OME now, Bobby,” says mam- ma at the breakfast-table, * it’ time you were off." Bobby leans back and eyes the front windows “No, Bobby. I can't allow yout cedy, and you've had eight or LUCKY. {25 Whats qoublin! yen Can Thave some plum-jam then ?” There is none on the table, Did sis get my new copy-book ? “Yes, and it’s with your other books on the window-sill. Come, hurry I suppose you are trying to be late, aren't you ?” mom, I'm not; for pop said he'd whop me if | was lat st run out in the in this week. and see if any mushrooms have come up in the night, “Bobby! Bobby! Come back here! don’t grow at this time of year.” “Well, they might, it's so warm, Any way I must go up stairs and see if that chameleon has changed He is absent about comes down the basement stairs with what novelists usually des less tread.” “Come! come You know very well mushrooms ¢ minutes and ribe as a" nerve- says mamma exasperatedly. Here it is ten minutes to nine ! off, [tell you.” “All right, mumsey; but where's my cap ?” How can you dawdle so? The other boys have all gone past. Now be , Customer —" Waiter, where are my knife and fork?" Watter-—* Didn't you ask for a tender steak, si Customer —" Yes; of course I did. Waiter —“ Well, sir, the steaks in this place are so tender you eat ‘em with a spoon,” TME LATEST PROTECTIVE INVENTION,